Dad passed drivers license test at 93

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SomewhereOutThere, Apr 1, 2017.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Do I feel he is safe on the rode?

    Nope. But who am I to talk? I had a horrible accident in 2015.

    Does he has dementia?

    No. Or at least his poorer memory is not diagnosed as such.

    Am I going to do anything?

    This is on the DMV. I cant do anything and dont feel I should even try. He hasnt had an accident I know of for twenty years. My biggest fear is that he may hurt or kill somebody else when he is out. Yet..his driving record is currently better than mine.

    Just a mild vent.
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    My mother is in her 90's and drinks. She just got her drivers license renewed last week. I do not think they should have renewed it.
  3. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    There is no such thing as safe on the road. An accident might happen and you might not be the guilty party but you are driving in a place other people drive and no matter the age all of you are one one thing humans and well humans makes mistakes.

    So in the end age does not really matter there is risk everyday. Also I read somewhere that if we take new younger drivers and old drives the younger ones have more accidents so well there is that also.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I meant to put this in family pf origin. But Dad is a difficult dad

    ADad, younger drivers who get wild are dangerous on purpose and should be pulled over and punished. But at 93 my dad has poor balance, or did last time i was with him, and a failing memory but not so bad that he has dementia. But it could go that way...who lnows? In a way, you are right. Driving is a risk.

    But i know my dad is not safe and i dont want to think of him dying that way or taking others woth him. He can more than afford his own driver.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2017
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Pas,how scary. Im so sorry.
  6. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    And my dad who truly has dementia as evidenced by his inability to find his driver's license in his wallet refused to even take the driver's test and is still driving. The Cactus Queen (his wife) now believes he is fine. It is interesting how this time last year she was raising the alarm that my dad could not remember anything.

    There are some things which are beyond our control.

    SWOT, how funny that you posted in PE.
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Two days after t was renewed she fractured her lumbar so she can't drive. I guess that is the silver lining in this situation.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Pigless, he has always been difficult so its perfect!! My Dads memory is not good. He even mentions it.

    The situation with your father is insane. Doesnt he have to take the test every year?
  9. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    We were just talking about this.

    I had tried to take the keys away from Dad, tried to get him to take cabs, without success. Then one day I asked him if I could take his car for a few days as my car had to go into the shop. I parked it in front of my house. It happened to be the weekend before St. Patrick's day, which is quite a busy, boozy time on Chicago's South Side. Woke up the next morning to find the front end completely smashed in. Totaled.

    Coincidently, his sister in Ireland had passed away the same evening. He didn't seem too upset about the car or my aunt dying. Never asked about driving again, although his mind did fixate on other matters, which drove me nuts.

    So this drunk driver actually did us a favor!
  10. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    My ex's grandmother drove until she was 97. When they took her car away from her, she pretty much gave up on life. I feel like my mother will do the same thing. She very much values her freedom and independence.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My dad may be the same.
  12. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Not in Virginia, SWOT. I wish he were required to take it. Driving is his life. Cactus Queen will cover for him as much as she can. She knows he will deteriorate if he is not allowed to drive. I think it's a shame, but I think road safety should take precedence over my dad's wishes. I think he should have developed additional interests that would have carried him into old age.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thats too bad.

    My Dads main interest now is going to dances. Yep. Thats right. And he likes meeting women. I know. Good for him, but he is too proud to hire a ride and he drives at night. And Im not sure, but I dont think the dances are that close to his apartmrnt. Yes, he l8ves alone. It probably is not best anymore that hd lives alone but so far he has insisted. I worry each time he cant get to the phone. I live a state away from him.

    I think my dad would give up too if he could not drive to his dances. It is amazing he can still dance at all, although I am guessing he has slowed down this year. He has not been well.
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    My mother is 82 and just passed her driving test (including road and vision) in Dec.

    She is already planning for the day when she has to give up driving, and has restricted her driving herself a she ages.

    For example, she no longer drives at night at all. She doesn't drive on bad roads, and for the most part only drives to familiar places.

    She drives a 2001 Honda CRV that is on a salvage title because the ins company totaled it out 2 years ago when she got rear ended.

    Vehicle looks fine and is perfectly safe to drive (mechanic inspected). Ins co. totaled it because it would've cost more to fix the mechanism on the rear hatch than the car was worth.

    She puts her stuff on the back seat and tootles onward.

    She will give up driving when/if this car dies, even if she is still able to drive.

    Cognitively, she is fine, just occasionally very slightly forgetful, which is handled by writing things down.
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    GN, sounds like your mom cares both about her welfare and that of others on the road. Good, selfless traits. Sounds like a sensible, kind woman.

    My dad is not one to worry about himself, as far as his safety, or others. The only way he will stop driving is if forced by law or dead. I didnt worry that much until he started getting weaker, sicker and having memory problems. On top of all this, he has cataracts. I do too and I know how that makes it even harder to see, especially at night.
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2017