Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Daily ritual? is this normal for everyone?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 67499" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Actually, I've known some typical teen males who do this - food is the trigger. Or rather, lack of food. My best friend (difficult child 3's godmother) went through this with her son - he would go almost into panic mode when the hunger hit him, he would be DESPERATE for food, totally unreasonable. She noticed time and time again, how feeding him when he was like that short-circuited a lot of this bad behaviour. Mind you, he was a sweet kid at other times (apart from being intensely curious and having poor impulse control).</p><p></p><p>My friend also noticed a similar thing in other teen males in the family, although there aren't many of them, most of that generation are female.</p><p></p><p>I found similar things with difficult child 1, plus a fair bit with easy child, so I tend to keep the fridge stocked with cooked food (cooked sausages, cooked chicken, salad vegetables, fruit bowl also full). The kids were always told to help themselves to REAL food when they wanted and to let me know when things were running low. I also have cooked burger rissoles in the freezer - 2 minutes in the microwave and it's instant home-cooked burger.</p><p></p><p>But we all know, don't we, that a BIG part of this wasn't about being hungry (although that was probably aggravating the bad behaviour) it was about wanting to EAT OUT. Eating out is more convenient, it's faster and because it always tastes exactly the same, it's safe and therefore what they crave. Plus, eating out is some sort of symbol for, "We are wealthy enough to do this, I never need to worry about not having enough to eat" which is something that deep down can really bug an adolescent male. It's a combination of the testosterone and the growth hormone than is causing all this aggro and hunger surges.</p><p></p><p>The things he was saying (and you also) - never make a threat you aren't prepared to carry out. So if you threaten to smack him in public - you have to be prepared to do it (just don't do it in New Zealand). And as for saying those things to his 6 yo brother - I would have slammed on the brakes of the car instantly and insisted on sorting it out before moving one more centimetre. How dare he? He's not content with attacking you (which is unacceptable, bipolar or not) he has to wage a propaganda war using his little brother as collateral damage. Not on, buddy! And of course, while the car is stopped, you're not wending homewards to get dinner going. But because it is HIS smart mouth, it's HIS responsibility. Take your time, son, think about what you're saying - you want me to feed you so you insult my cooking, insult my parenting - and you want me to do something for you? Hmm, something not working here, I can't quite make it out...</p><p></p><p>You need to sit down with husband and plan strategy. As soon as you made it clear you weren't going to buy takeaway, husband should have been backing you up and retracting his earlier statement (or telling you he'd already promised, to avoid you looking like the ogre). So next time difficult child is saying, "I hate your cooking," husband is there to back you up. </p><p>"Fine - you don't have to eat it. Mind you, if you're starving, you will eat your own shoelaces, so you may want to reconsider. It's never a good idea to insult the cook - either at home or in a restaurant. You never know WHAT they'll cook."</p><p>Or you can say, "So you don't like my cooking? Well frankly, kid, I don't like to cook for you. You don't appreciate a thing I do for you and from right now, I'm on strike. Get ALLl your own meals and make darn sure you clean up the kitchen after you've used it so I don't know you've even been in there. Buy your own food, do your own budgeting, plan your own menus - but count me out! From here on, I'm cooking only for those who appreciate my efforts!"</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 was about 15 when he said to me once (after a very similar discussion), "What do you mean, you don't like to be busy in the kitchen preparing meals, cleaning up after us and doing our washing? You're a mum - that's what mums do, they look after their families because they want to. So you MUST be enjoying it!"</p><p>Amazingly, I DIDN'T wring his neck on the spot. He actually survived the experience - but I DID set him straight, fast.</p><p>"I do it because someone has to. I don't do it because I enjoy it. My brain is NOT wired differently merely because I am female and therefore must be genetically programmed to love housework and cooking. I do it in the hope that soon you will learn to look after yourself and be a fit and capable person to leave home and live independently. If you EVER take that attitude with any woman in your life, ever again, your head will be spinning so fast you will wonder what hit you and your rear end will be permanently imprinted with whatever footwear your lady is wearing. So GET YOUR A*** INTO GEAR and put on this apron."</p><p></p><p>If he STILL insists he is likely to drop dead of starvation within minutes, tell him it took Bobby Sands 66 days to die, on his hunger strike. And HE had already been eating prison food for some time, so he was already likely to be malnourished and underweight, compared to difficult child. Because however bad your cooking is, I doubt it's as bad as in a Dublin prison.</p><p></p><p>If you need the reference, here it is:</p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Sands" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Sands</a></p><p></p><p>But seriously, teenage boys and the desperation of hunger - save me from it! It's a shocker!!!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 67499, member: 1991"] Actually, I've known some typical teen males who do this - food is the trigger. Or rather, lack of food. My best friend (difficult child 3's godmother) went through this with her son - he would go almost into panic mode when the hunger hit him, he would be DESPERATE for food, totally unreasonable. She noticed time and time again, how feeding him when he was like that short-circuited a lot of this bad behaviour. Mind you, he was a sweet kid at other times (apart from being intensely curious and having poor impulse control). My friend also noticed a similar thing in other teen males in the family, although there aren't many of them, most of that generation are female. I found similar things with difficult child 1, plus a fair bit with easy child, so I tend to keep the fridge stocked with cooked food (cooked sausages, cooked chicken, salad vegetables, fruit bowl also full). The kids were always told to help themselves to REAL food when they wanted and to let me know when things were running low. I also have cooked burger rissoles in the freezer - 2 minutes in the microwave and it's instant home-cooked burger. But we all know, don't we, that a BIG part of this wasn't about being hungry (although that was probably aggravating the bad behaviour) it was about wanting to EAT OUT. Eating out is more convenient, it's faster and because it always tastes exactly the same, it's safe and therefore what they crave. Plus, eating out is some sort of symbol for, "We are wealthy enough to do this, I never need to worry about not having enough to eat" which is something that deep down can really bug an adolescent male. It's a combination of the testosterone and the growth hormone than is causing all this aggro and hunger surges. The things he was saying (and you also) - never make a threat you aren't prepared to carry out. So if you threaten to smack him in public - you have to be prepared to do it (just don't do it in New Zealand). And as for saying those things to his 6 yo brother - I would have slammed on the brakes of the car instantly and insisted on sorting it out before moving one more centimetre. How dare he? He's not content with attacking you (which is unacceptable, bipolar or not) he has to wage a propaganda war using his little brother as collateral damage. Not on, buddy! And of course, while the car is stopped, you're not wending homewards to get dinner going. But because it is HIS smart mouth, it's HIS responsibility. Take your time, son, think about what you're saying - you want me to feed you so you insult my cooking, insult my parenting - and you want me to do something for you? Hmm, something not working here, I can't quite make it out... You need to sit down with husband and plan strategy. As soon as you made it clear you weren't going to buy takeaway, husband should have been backing you up and retracting his earlier statement (or telling you he'd already promised, to avoid you looking like the ogre). So next time difficult child is saying, "I hate your cooking," husband is there to back you up. "Fine - you don't have to eat it. Mind you, if you're starving, you will eat your own shoelaces, so you may want to reconsider. It's never a good idea to insult the cook - either at home or in a restaurant. You never know WHAT they'll cook." Or you can say, "So you don't like my cooking? Well frankly, kid, I don't like to cook for you. You don't appreciate a thing I do for you and from right now, I'm on strike. Get ALLl your own meals and make darn sure you clean up the kitchen after you've used it so I don't know you've even been in there. Buy your own food, do your own budgeting, plan your own menus - but count me out! From here on, I'm cooking only for those who appreciate my efforts!" difficult child 1 was about 15 when he said to me once (after a very similar discussion), "What do you mean, you don't like to be busy in the kitchen preparing meals, cleaning up after us and doing our washing? You're a mum - that's what mums do, they look after their families because they want to. So you MUST be enjoying it!" Amazingly, I DIDN'T wring his neck on the spot. He actually survived the experience - but I DID set him straight, fast. "I do it because someone has to. I don't do it because I enjoy it. My brain is NOT wired differently merely because I am female and therefore must be genetically programmed to love housework and cooking. I do it in the hope that soon you will learn to look after yourself and be a fit and capable person to leave home and live independently. If you EVER take that attitude with any woman in your life, ever again, your head will be spinning so fast you will wonder what hit you and your rear end will be permanently imprinted with whatever footwear your lady is wearing. So GET YOUR A*** INTO GEAR and put on this apron." If he STILL insists he is likely to drop dead of starvation within minutes, tell him it took Bobby Sands 66 days to die, on his hunger strike. And HE had already been eating prison food for some time, so he was already likely to be malnourished and underweight, compared to difficult child. Because however bad your cooking is, I doubt it's as bad as in a Dublin prison. If you need the reference, here it is: [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Sands"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Sands[/url] But seriously, teenage boys and the desperation of hunger - save me from it! It's a shocker!!! Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Daily ritual? is this normal for everyone?
Top