Dat +8 = Ockie

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by PonyGirl, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Our little man is suffering. Sores in his mouth & throat. The Pros are on it. That's why the morphine. Now have added oxygen and a nebulizer. daughter in law reports Baby J only awake for about 4 hours today total.

    Rest is good. Sleep it away, my man!

    I want these days to be OVER!!!!!!!!!! I don't want my little grandson to be hurting!!!!

    Oh, and what's difficult child doing? He's playing another stupid gig, with his stupid band, 200 miles away from his wife & son. I kinda hate him right now.

    daughter in law supported his decision to go play the gig. So he's not in trouble with her. YET. I'm fairly certain he will be in trouble by this time tomorrow.

    But you know what? I really don't want to spend energy feeling negative about it. Does that make any sense? I want to just get all positive loving energy going.

    Grow Cells Grow!!

  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sleep baby sleep.

    Holding you guys in my prayers.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, my...
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Keeping the prayers and loving thoughts coming! {{{Hugs}}}
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Grow cells, grow!!!!!

    Yeah - I think no negative thoughts is a good thing right now. If his wife is not annoyed, then no need to worry.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I am continuing to keep baby J in my thoughts daily. I just wanted to comment on your difficult child's behavior, and how you feel. I completely get it. Believe me as the new Mother coming home with a baby in her lap - and no one at the hospital to pick us up, never taking his own child to the doctors, and never changing a diaper? I really get the uninvolved Dad bit.
    I used to make excuses that he couldn't handle it if the baby was sick, and how could he, how DARE he go off and do something that seemed to the rest of the world like fun? Complete jerk. It angered me so badly - I hated him for years over it. I also made excuses for him thinking - "Maybe this is how he 'deals' with stress, or pain - but doing something to take his mind off it." But it would always boomerang back to - "How dare he? I'm here - he needs to be here, his son needs him here."

    The thing I learned over the years was to let go. The anger and animosity I carried around for my x regarding the treatment of his son was incredible. In therapy however I learned a simple thing that helped me and I hope it helps you in some way. "I can't control how anyone behaves, I can only control to how I react to it and carry it in my heart."

    It could be that your son can't deal with what is going on - and I guess for the most part ANYONE would figure he'd be there having a bedside vigil for baby J....not leaving his wife. It could also be that he feels helpless to help baby J and this is how he's dealing with his pain - that is after all his son, I'm sure he wants him to be healthy. Another thought is maybe in some weird way he blames himself for J being sick, and can't cope so he's trying to find something normal for him (playing in the band is normal) and knows that you and his wife will be there for the baby. - Another thought is that maybe his wife needed a break from HIM - after going through the trama of all this. (that would be me - please just go, leave me be - I need space).

    You are an incredibly soulful person with so much to give and you have done a phenominal job of raising your son. How he's behaving right now isn't a reflection of you or your parenting. Everyone has something they don't cope with well until they are put to the test. The fact that he isn't there? Doesn't mean he's failed, or doesn't love J, or his wife - It just means he lacks the ability to cope. (I think so anyway).

    Just thought I'd throw that out there for consideration of my nephew and what may be happening in his head. I'm sure the stress for everyone there is tremendous. J is fortunate and blessed to have a Mommy AND a Grammy that are so strong and can handle this horrible event and see him through it. You are indeed a rare person. Don't let anything spoil that. ;)

    Hugs & Love
  7. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm so sorry baby j is suffering right now. May this period be swift and pass without further incidence. I continue to keep him in my thoughts and will think positively for cell growth.
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Grow cells grow! I'm so sorry that Baby J is not feeling well. Continuing to send prayers and strength.
    I think you're very wise to focus on positive energy and not let the negative intrude right now.
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending continued thoughts and prayers for Baby J (and daughter in law, and you).

    Focus on each and every little positive and let the negatives go - Hugs.