Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Daughter 24 stole from me
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680261" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>by tomorrow morning others will have responded. you will either have a consensus or a menu of responses and you will intuitively know your next step. or will soon know. i found that it was necessary for me to dedicate myself to here. because i was driven to do the wrong things. i pushed and pushed and mothered and smothered and then the second he did not conform I exploded. it was the most dreadful of dances. i did it too long.</p><p></p><p>in your case, you do not have the leeway that i did to keep on like i was doing. you must choose a response. that makes it much better. you will define yourself by what you choose, and every decision will make you stronger.</p><p></p><p>i cannot stress enough how well you are doing. you framed the problem perfectly for us to understand. it is as if you already knew what you and your daughter need.</p><p></p><p>you have a girl with an addiction and possibly other mental health issues. now that i think about it, i might think about making it a condition that she see a psychiatist and/or psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation. there are mental illnesses that could drive this kind of behavior, beyond a compulsion to shop. these are treatable.</p><p></p><p>you describe this behavior as highly localized, in that it is not a quality that appears to be pervasive in her personality. that is a good sign, too, i think. she does not seem to have intent to hurt or to lack shame or guilt. that is good too. but the end of the day, she not you who is responsible to face consequences, find remedy. </p><p></p><p>there is an article on detachment here on the website. The member, scentofcedar, has a link at the bottom of her posts on how to think about these events with our children, and how to communicate with them in a way that really can empower them to help themselves.</p><p></p><p>back to my earlier point. when i think about making conditions, i begin to wonder again if it is the right thing to take responsibility at all for insulating her from the legal consequences of her act.</p><p></p><p>to me, and i have no way of really knowing, it does not sound like the thievery is primary. it sounds like the buying is. (by the way, i would sure insist she start right now liquidating her stuff. she can just as easily sell that gucci bag as buy one. except that i wonder if any recovery might require that she stay away from the internet.) which brings me back to my quandary: how much responsibility you should take to insulate her, or to help her. I just do not know.</p><p></p><p>copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680261, member: 18958"] by tomorrow morning others will have responded. you will either have a consensus or a menu of responses and you will intuitively know your next step. or will soon know. i found that it was necessary for me to dedicate myself to here. because i was driven to do the wrong things. i pushed and pushed and mothered and smothered and then the second he did not conform I exploded. it was the most dreadful of dances. i did it too long. in your case, you do not have the leeway that i did to keep on like i was doing. you must choose a response. that makes it much better. you will define yourself by what you choose, and every decision will make you stronger. i cannot stress enough how well you are doing. you framed the problem perfectly for us to understand. it is as if you already knew what you and your daughter need. you have a girl with an addiction and possibly other mental health issues. now that i think about it, i might think about making it a condition that she see a psychiatist and/or psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation. there are mental illnesses that could drive this kind of behavior, beyond a compulsion to shop. these are treatable. you describe this behavior as highly localized, in that it is not a quality that appears to be pervasive in her personality. that is a good sign, too, i think. she does not seem to have intent to hurt or to lack shame or guilt. that is good too. but the end of the day, she not you who is responsible to face consequences, find remedy. there is an article on detachment here on the website. The member, scentofcedar, has a link at the bottom of her posts on how to think about these events with our children, and how to communicate with them in a way that really can empower them to help themselves. back to my earlier point. when i think about making conditions, i begin to wonder again if it is the right thing to take responsibility at all for insulating her from the legal consequences of her act. to me, and i have no way of really knowing, it does not sound like the thievery is primary. it sounds like the buying is. (by the way, i would sure insist she start right now liquidating her stuff. she can just as easily sell that gucci bag as buy one. except that i wonder if any recovery might require that she stay away from the internet.) which brings me back to my quandary: how much responsibility you should take to insulate her, or to help her. I just do not know. copa [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Daughter 24 stole from me
Top