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Daughter and Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705324" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am sorry about Christmas and your daughter but I do have a suggestion that may help you get a bit more peace.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter sounds like me...disinterested in her appearance. While I don't look like a wreck and have always been pretty without trying, I never wore make up or fussed with my hair and I bit my nails...still do. If my family bugged me about these things, which I think are superficial, I would have called you out on it. I probably would have rejected the hints about getting my hair and nails done. Unless she is dirty or smells bad, I don't feel it's a flaw not to be worried about ones appearance.</p><p></p><p>Also next visit ask daughter where she wants you to take her. While you may like nice restaurants, she may prefer dress down casual coffee shops, like me. She may not fit in with fancy. I don't. If she still complains after you take her to a place of her choice, don't take her places. But maybe ask her what she wants to do.</p><p></p><p>From the obesity, which only she can decide to do something about, to the hair, nails etc....your daughter is old enough to decide how she wants to look and I am baffled why it bothers you much. It's really not your business. Neither is how she eats at age 30.</p><p></p><p>I'd lay off of all that 100%. Her appearance is up to her. I'm on your daughters side in this. These things in my opinion should not bother you.</p><p></p><p>Now The lack of gratitude and complaining are separate issues. I am only addressing the things I feel you should let go of. She is adopted and will be different from you. Perhaps her birth parents had weight problems and casual attitudes about their appearances...i am sorry. I felt like you were picking on ME lol with the appearance bit. </p><p></p><p>Truly, i would have avoided anyone who seemed to think I needed to fuss over my appearance. I dont worry about how my grown kids dress or do their hair...the heart is all I care about.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow sorry again that your daughter caused you grief for complaining and acting ungrateful. Warm hugs and hopes for a better tomorrow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705324, member: 1550"] I am sorry about Christmas and your daughter but I do have a suggestion that may help you get a bit more peace. Your daughter sounds like me...disinterested in her appearance. While I don't look like a wreck and have always been pretty without trying, I never wore make up or fussed with my hair and I bit my nails...still do. If my family bugged me about these things, which I think are superficial, I would have called you out on it. I probably would have rejected the hints about getting my hair and nails done. Unless she is dirty or smells bad, I don't feel it's a flaw not to be worried about ones appearance. Also next visit ask daughter where she wants you to take her. While you may like nice restaurants, she may prefer dress down casual coffee shops, like me. She may not fit in with fancy. I don't. If she still complains after you take her to a place of her choice, don't take her places. But maybe ask her what she wants to do. From the obesity, which only she can decide to do something about, to the hair, nails etc....your daughter is old enough to decide how she wants to look and I am baffled why it bothers you much. It's really not your business. Neither is how she eats at age 30. I'd lay off of all that 100%. Her appearance is up to her. I'm on your daughters side in this. These things in my opinion should not bother you. Now The lack of gratitude and complaining are separate issues. I am only addressing the things I feel you should let go of. She is adopted and will be different from you. Perhaps her birth parents had weight problems and casual attitudes about their appearances...i am sorry. I felt like you were picking on ME lol with the appearance bit. Truly, i would have avoided anyone who seemed to think I needed to fuss over my appearance. I dont worry about how my grown kids dress or do their hair...the heart is all I care about. Anyhow sorry again that your daughter caused you grief for complaining and acting ungrateful. Warm hugs and hopes for a better tomorrow. [/QUOTE]
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