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Failure to Thrive
Daughter attended one week of college
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 703256" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I so much understand your feelings, and I wish I knew what to say to ease your concerns. Welcome here. I hope you stay with it. Posting helps, it really does. While the knowledge and support you may find here should help some, clarifying your thinking and the very process of writing down my situation, thoughts and worries, helped me immeasurably to know myself better, and change some, too.</p><p>I think you might be downplaying to yourself how your health issues might be affecting your daughter. She may not know how to speak to you about her fears and anxieties. She may not even face them inside herself, or to avoid facing them, she may be acting out/using marijuana. It may be because of her own reaction to your health issues that she is unable to function.</p><p></p><p>I think one way to respond might be laying it all on the table in a series of face to face conversations, between she and you. I do not know if your health permits you to travel or not, but she may need to talk with you directly about her fears. This may not be easy or come easy.</p><p></p><p>How could she not fear losing you? And what this would mean for her, how she sees herself, and her future? Maybe she has guilt about past attitudes, lapses, or actions? Maybe she has anger towards you that she fears caused damage to you? Maybe she cannot forgive herself for that.</p><p></p><p>You are in a position to help her face these things.</p><p></p><p>You mentioned the Buddhist High School but did not, as I recall, mention matters of faith. I have been speaking with someone of my own faith on a weekly basis. While she is ordained she is also a spiritual director with a special training in assisting/guiding others in crises that might be helped through a spiritual focus. It has been enormously helpful to me and a source of strength and consolation.</p><p></p><p>Spiritual Directors can be of whatever faith, or they can be non-believers. Perhaps somebody in your own faith or a spiritual director could help you help yourself and daughter.</p><p></p><p>I brought up the idea to my own son, and he seemed disinterested. Where we do have control is what we decide for ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 703256, member: 18958"] I so much understand your feelings, and I wish I knew what to say to ease your concerns. Welcome here. I hope you stay with it. Posting helps, it really does. While the knowledge and support you may find here should help some, clarifying your thinking and the very process of writing down my situation, thoughts and worries, helped me immeasurably to know myself better, and change some, too. I think you might be downplaying to yourself how your health issues might be affecting your daughter. She may not know how to speak to you about her fears and anxieties. She may not even face them inside herself, or to avoid facing them, she may be acting out/using marijuana. It may be because of her own reaction to your health issues that she is unable to function. I think one way to respond might be laying it all on the table in a series of face to face conversations, between she and you. I do not know if your health permits you to travel or not, but she may need to talk with you directly about her fears. This may not be easy or come easy. How could she not fear losing you? And what this would mean for her, how she sees herself, and her future? Maybe she has guilt about past attitudes, lapses, or actions? Maybe she has anger towards you that she fears caused damage to you? Maybe she cannot forgive herself for that. You are in a position to help her face these things. You mentioned the Buddhist High School but did not, as I recall, mention matters of faith. I have been speaking with someone of my own faith on a weekly basis. While she is ordained she is also a spiritual director with a special training in assisting/guiding others in crises that might be helped through a spiritual focus. It has been enormously helpful to me and a source of strength and consolation. Spiritual Directors can be of whatever faith, or they can be non-believers. Perhaps somebody in your own faith or a spiritual director could help you help yourself and daughter. I brought up the idea to my own son, and he seemed disinterested. Where we do have control is what we decide for ourselves. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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Daughter attended one week of college
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