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Daughter located, I'm so worried
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704351" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This sounds like some kind of dominance/submission sadomasochistic jargon.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself? What can you do if she is committed to a relationship of this sort and from that place, rejects you?</p><p></p><p>Many of us our suffering versions of this story. She is an adult. What she says or writes about you, is her business. I understand the heartache. I lived part of it.</p><p></p><p>You need to protect yourselves from her. I am not saying write her off, but I am saying try to go about your lives. As she is living her own.</p><p></p><p>The hurtful things she says, who knows where they are coming from? I would not read or open any correspondence from her, and I doubt if I would take any calls. Should she, at some point, recover, she will find a way to contact you or other family. Right now she is only destructive. Why would you stay open to that?</p><p></p><p>There are parents on this board that live with the reality that their schizophrenic children are homeless. You are not alone. My own child is mentally ill.</p><p></p><p>There are many ways that she could decide to recover, but none of them involve you. There are ways that she can encounter people who can help her. But either that happens because she gets herself in trouble or she is lucky and she befriends somebody who can influence her and help her. None of this can involve you. Not just because she is rejecting you. But of course there is that. But because she does not want anything you have to offer right now. She has made that clear. She is not buying what you are selling. Not any of it. That is the first thing that you need to accept.</p><p></p><p>All of the heartache you are experiencing is not helping her. And it is killing you. That is at bottom what you are facing.</p><p></p><p>You and I have to find a place in ourselves from which we can stand up again. Something of value and someplace that is safe. We are living right now from the heartache of our children. We cannot sustain ourselves from this place.</p><p></p><p>There is a choice that must be made.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704351, member: 18958"] This sounds like some kind of dominance/submission sadomasochistic jargon. Ask yourself? What can you do if she is committed to a relationship of this sort and from that place, rejects you? Many of us our suffering versions of this story. She is an adult. What she says or writes about you, is her business. I understand the heartache. I lived part of it. You need to protect yourselves from her. I am not saying write her off, but I am saying try to go about your lives. As she is living her own. The hurtful things she says, who knows where they are coming from? I would not read or open any correspondence from her, and I doubt if I would take any calls. Should she, at some point, recover, she will find a way to contact you or other family. Right now she is only destructive. Why would you stay open to that? There are parents on this board that live with the reality that their schizophrenic children are homeless. You are not alone. My own child is mentally ill. There are many ways that she could decide to recover, but none of them involve you. There are ways that she can encounter people who can help her. But either that happens because she gets herself in trouble or she is lucky and she befriends somebody who can influence her and help her. None of this can involve you. Not just because she is rejecting you. But of course there is that. But because she does not want anything you have to offer right now. She has made that clear. She is not buying what you are selling. Not any of it. That is the first thing that you need to accept. All of the heartache you are experiencing is not helping her. And it is killing you. That is at bottom what you are facing. You and I have to find a place in ourselves from which we can stand up again. Something of value and someplace that is safe. We are living right now from the heartache of our children. We cannot sustain ourselves from this place. There is a choice that must be made. [/QUOTE]
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