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Daughter's conspiracy theories causing estrangement. Help please!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748032" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The Al Anon or 12 step way of looking at this is thus: <em>to accept the things I cannot change...</em></p><p></p><p>I would back way, way off. I would accept that for whatever reason she does not want to be in contact, or is suspicious, or whatever. These are things you have no control over. </p><p></p><p>We have to deal with the pain of this. We do this by taking ownership of it. It's our pain. It really does not have to do with her or what she does or thinks.</p><p></p><p>What can you do right now for yourself? Try to forget about her for now and let her handle herself. She may or she may not decide to be closer to you again. But any contact with her that you initiate will backfire. She will have to make any move.</p><p></p><p>If she is being controlled by the husband, likewise there's nothing you can do except to back off. At some point she may want to talk to you. You can be available. But I would not push it. And try to be silent about your own views and listen.</p><p></p><p>What and who we can change is ourselves. To accept our grief and to feel it, and to build our own lives so that we have joy and meaning and pleasure in the only way that we really can feel and own. In our own lives.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this is so hard. It is for me, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748032, member: 18958"] The Al Anon or 12 step way of looking at this is thus: [I]to accept the things I cannot change...[/I] I would back way, way off. I would accept that for whatever reason she does not want to be in contact, or is suspicious, or whatever. These are things you have no control over. We have to deal with the pain of this. We do this by taking ownership of it. It's our pain. It really does not have to do with her or what she does or thinks. What can you do right now for yourself? Try to forget about her for now and let her handle herself. She may or she may not decide to be closer to you again. But any contact with her that you initiate will backfire. She will have to make any move. If she is being controlled by the husband, likewise there's nothing you can do except to back off. At some point she may want to talk to you. You can be available. But I would not push it. And try to be silent about your own views and listen. What and who we can change is ourselves. To accept our grief and to feel it, and to build our own lives so that we have joy and meaning and pleasure in the only way that we really can feel and own. In our own lives. I'm sorry this is so hard. It is for me, too. [/QUOTE]
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Daughter's conspiracy theories causing estrangement. Help please!
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