Day 3 With Us...we think there is more going on than just drugs.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by rosepress, Mar 22, 2013.

  1. rosepress

    rosepress New Member

    As you guys know who been reading my posts, my son started drug classes last night. At first, he said he didnt want to stop smoking because he loves the weed too much, the only reason he wanted to go through this is because he flunked a drug test from work and in order to keep his job, he must go through it and stay clean. The classes are for 4 weeks, then he gets drug tested by his employer and if he is clean, he can return to work, then they can randomly test him anytime for one year. His plan is to get back in their good graces, go back to work for a week, then quit...he just didnt want to lose his reference since he has been there for almost 4 years and he needs it. HE wants another job. My husband and I are like, "you have to be kidding"???, but just getting him in a class is better than not and we are hoping that maybe something will hit home, trigger something to make him think... or make him slow was our only chance. I picked him up last night and he didnt seem edgy or mad like he did when he went to a drug class a year ago, he was in a drug rehab at night...he hated it because he said he didnt feel like he belonged there because he was in a class with heroin and meth addicts. This class, he is in now, is for weed smokers and me, the pills are just as wicked as the meth and heroin...I may be wrong.

    My son has always had a temper, got kicked out of daycares, schools, when he was young, but it wasnt until he turned 15, he had bigger issues. We always say its the ODD-the relationship problems, the authority problems, going from job to job...he has had all the classic signs and although I know they dont call ODD in adults ODD anymore, theres another name, we know the classic symptoms are still there, but with a twist. He gets outraged when things dont go his way...example, he broke our shower knob, got so upset, he cussed himself out in the bathroom asking why him, why does he have such bad luck and was literally having a conversation with himself....he blows up, no use talking to him, he goes out of control. Few girls told us he gets very verbally abusive and then calms himself down. HE can not hold a relationship with any woman because of this. HE has drove many guy friends away as well. My husband and I have said for about a year now that its like he has a wire loose....some part of the brain that is missing...the part that controls your anger, makes you make normal decisions, gives you a 'steadiness' of your brain if you may...its hard to explain, but we see it, its not bipolar...he was tested and many doctors said no he does not have the componets, and our research confirmed that, but it something we cant minute his world seems like its falling apart and in the next minute, he walks into a room singing....we all look in confusion....split personalities.

    My husband keeps to himself pretty much at work. One day, a co worker who he liked told him he has been looking stressed out lately. This guy is a Christian so my husband opened up to him to tell him about our son and the storm that we have been in since he was 15. This co worker patiently listened to my husband for days and then he told my husband that our son sounded a lot like him when he was his age. He told him about the anger, the weed, the pills, the broken relationships, the loss jobs, the getting kicked out of his home, everything. My husband would show him texts he recieved from me about the outbursts during the day, the talking to himself in the bathroom, the talking back to himself...trying to reason with himself....all of it. The co worker admitted to my husband yesterday that he usually dont talk about personal stuff but he saw how we are going through a tough time. HE told my husband that his own parents knew there was more going on than just the drugs because of his unsual behavior...doctors diagonosed him with a mental disorder, can not remember the name, but at 16, they put him on litheum?( spelled wrong I am sure). HE said, his behavior changed and his feeling that something was "missing" was gone and he completely changed....he is now in his late 30's and says he no longer needs the medications because the doctors said he may outgrow it and did. I dont know if this has any revelance to my son, but it wont hurt anything to look at it. So last night I called the program director at where he is taking these classes and explained to her our concerns. She assured me that when these people enter these programs, the doctor looks for other mental concerns while they are being treated, it wasnt just about getting off the weed and pills..she explained that sometimes there are other reasons why people dive into drugs other than just for fun or peer pressure...didnt know that. Dont know if it would do any good, but I know he wouldnt voulunteer any of that behavior. I had to start somewhere.

    I had a brother who took his own life at 42. He had bi polar and had a few addictions...many doctors tell us my son does not have this, but some of my brother's choices and my sons and how they think are so similar its scary....their lack of concern about material things...ex; their cars....they drove their cars to the ground, have had many accidents, and they can live in slop, have no regard for like a cell phone, 3 or 4 in the last few months...loosing stuff or just breaking stuff... but if they have one stain on their fav shirt, they get annoyed....both highly intelligent, only difference is my brother always talked baout suicde, struggling with his demons and was depressed, on the other hand, my son says he has never thought about suicide, and as a matter of fact, likes himself, its everybody else he hates sometimes......

    I pray that they find answers, I pray that their is help some way or else my son will have a very difficult time dealing with life. At this very moment, my son is sleeping downstairs on a sofa because he told me he couldnt fall asleep last night...he said its because he has no pills or weed in his system. My husband went to work, and what I would have given to trade places with him and he could stay home...its going to be a rough day today, but I will be here for my son to help get him through....we are all he has. Thanks.
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I admit I am not a doctor but it sure sounds like bi-polar to me. The hereditary factor with yoru brother having it is huge. The anger issues along with being too wired to sleep, it all points to that. Keep searching and listening to your gut.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He could have bipolar, he could be borderline (borderlines have more moods than bipolars do and they switch from minute to minute or every thirty seconds and they can't have good relationships with others). However, this is all mixed in with drugs and you don't know for a fact that all he is taking is pot. Drugs make kids and adults act very bipolar and erratic. My daughter did and got the bipolar diagnosis. Then she quit the drugs. Guess what? No more punching walls, swearing, hysterical crying fits, no more bipolar symptoms.

    If your son does have bipolar, borderline, both or something else entirely, drugs of any kind will only make them worse. I'm reading a really good book now that I wish your son would read (Lethal Inheritance, A Mother Uncovers the Science of Generational Mental Illness by Victoria Costello). This by the way is not exactly the correct name, but I have a Kindle and it won't show me the entire but, the book itself is not funny. She is a scientist and got big kudos in the medication community for studying mental illness as it runs in families and early signs and how to help. It clearly states that kids who smoke pot AND IF THOSE KIDS ARE PRONE TO SCHIZOPHRENIA OR BIPOLAR they are far, far, far (forgot the rate) more likely to become psychotic than if they DON'T use pot. Not using pot is a safeguard for kids who have a ****ing mental health history on either side of their family tree, like your son does. He isn't helping himself at all with the weed and if we has bipolar, he is making it worse (at least according to this great book). I can't recommend it enough to EVERYONE here. It has ways we can be proactive before our susceptible kids (gentically at risk) even have any symptoms of mental illness...things you can do maybe for your younger kids who seem like regular kids right now.

    At any rate, in my opinion as long as your son likes weed and possibly other drugs, diagnosing a mental illness will be hard because the drugs themselves cause symptoms and behaviors that mimic different mental illnesses, but you can try. And if you buy this book a nd can get your son to read the part about never know what may trigger some young adult to change his path. Just like some kids can't drink normally, some can't take pot.

    Gentle hugs and I hope your son agrees to at least listen to your concerns and try to address them. In the end, he alone can change himself and his life. You can talk until you are blue in the face (we did) and until he's ready to give up the drugs, there is nothing you can do other than to tell him you'll be there for him if he changes his mind and to try to detach from his bad choices, and that gets really hard, but it can be done. He's the one who can make himself better. Good luck to both of you. Keep us updated.
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    It does sound like it is more than just the drugs especially because he wasn't quite "right" before he started using. Often symptoms can have multiple causes. The only way to get a good diagnosis is to work with a trained professional over a period of time. Many people have had their DXs change as the doctor found that medications that should work didn't and behaviors not reported start to become apparant. -RM
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hoping your day goes by quickly till husband is home. I also hope he gets something from this program. But it sounds like he's on a mission so probably not being very helpful to himself there.

    Quitting a week after the class so he can use? Uggggg.