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Dazed & Confused
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 712871" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>What a thorough post! I will get back to you tomorrow but I want to say one thing now. There is an old movie, "The Graduate" that came out in maybe 1967 that has a famous phrase: "plastics." It comes from a conversation in the movie where the man said to Dustin Hoffman "plastics" as the answer to life. </p><p></p><p>With your son I would say this word as the answer to everything: <em>boundaries</em>. Your son is abusing you because you allow it. There is an article on the P.E forum on detachment. That will help you understand what I mean.</p><p></p><p>First your son is almost middle age. He is the only one who can solve his problems and he is the one responsible to do so. He and only he can define what are his problems. There is very little we as mothers can do to incentivize or motivate our adult sons to change if they do not take responsibility to do so. I know, I have tried over and over again. It does not work.</p><p></p><p>Welcome. I am glad you are here. Others will come along soon. I think they will tell you to focus on yourself, your well-being, and doing what allows you to focus on your own needs and interests. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 712871, member: 18958"] What a thorough post! I will get back to you tomorrow but I want to say one thing now. There is an old movie, "The Graduate" that came out in maybe 1967 that has a famous phrase: "plastics." It comes from a conversation in the movie where the man said to Dustin Hoffman "plastics" as the answer to life. With your son I would say this word as the answer to everything: [I]boundaries[/I]. Your son is abusing you because you allow it. There is an article on the P.E forum on detachment. That will help you understand what I mean. First your son is almost middle age. He is the only one who can solve his problems and he is the one responsible to do so. He and only he can define what are his problems. There is very little we as mothers can do to incentivize or motivate our adult sons to change if they do not take responsibility to do so. I know, I have tried over and over again. It does not work. Welcome. I am glad you are here. Others will come along soon. I think they will tell you to focus on yourself, your well-being, and doing what allows you to focus on your own needs and interests. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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