DBT dilemma....HELP!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Hello all, I need some advice. My daughter has just come home from a 6 week stay in the hospital, now in partial. We have court next week, we were originally going to request that my daughter not go back into placement as she will be 18 in 6 months, the hospital doctor also agrees that to place her at this point would not help her at all. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s she has already been in have done nothing at all for her (3 of them). She really needs DBT therapy and none of them had it. Meanwhile the Board of Ed wants to place her in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I had told them I didn't agree so they said they would send out referrals for Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s as well as day treatment. My sw and I have been searching high and low for day treatment with DBT therapy, cant find one.

    So, while my daughter was in the hospital I get this letter from an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stating that the Board of Ed had requested an interview for my daughter at this school. I didn't respond as I don't want her to be placed again. So a few weeks go by and this woman keeps calling me from there to set up an appointment. I pretty much ignore her calls. Today I decided to call her back just to see what the school offers. Well, I nearly fell off my chair as she began telling me all about the DBT program my daughter would be in. Now what??? We have been putting all these services in place so that when we do go to court we are prepared to request that my daughter stay home and have community based treatment. Then I hear those three little letters : "DBT"!!! Now I am so confused. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is only 20 minutes away from my house, so it would be very convenient. The thing is if we go with the placement we will lose all the services that come with the SPOA application, so when she is 18 and signs herself out (she will sign herself out - no question) she will come home with no treatment plan in place.

    What do I do????? I hate having to make these decisions!! My daughter will be so angry about being in placement that she would be unwilling to participate in the therapy, so is it worth it? I kind of feel like this was a sign, I mean this program fell into my lap. The SD is not only willing to pay for an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), they want to. How rare is that? Even though I logically know that if I were to agree to put her back into residential it would be for her benefit, but she will be so angry at me and at the system I really believe she just wont comply with the plan. HELP!!!!

    I need advice badly. I don't know what to do. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I always seem to find myself here. Please send me some opinions.

    Thanks. :)
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    i say go for it. If she decides to sign herself out at 18, you can't control that. But with your previous post today, I know that having her home isn't working either. If she wants to sign herself out at 18, then she would have to be on her own. She can not come home unless she has been through the therapy and is working the program.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I would go talk to them and express my concerns and see how they respond to them. For one thing, maybe they will surprise you, for another, at least you'll know the answers to your questions, and for a third, the legal people and sschool can't see that you never even gave it a chance or that you weren't cooperative.
  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you for your opinions, I appreciate it. I will call the SD today and find out where else they sent referrals and what are all of the options and go from there.

    Thanks again. :)
  5. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    I'd go for it too. I've heard that DBT can do wonders for Borderline (BPD).
  6. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Linda, I know that is what I am so torn about. She so needs this DBT. I have heard such great things about it.
    Decisions...decisions!!!! I HATE THEM.

    Thanks, I will let you know what we decide. :)
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Why not set down your requirements that you have for your daughter and lay it all out to her with the TEAM in the hospital?

    Go to therapy, go to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and finish the program OR if you don't participate and sign yourself out at 18, don't expect to live HERE. You have to stick to it. Maybe her inclusion in the decision might make her more prone to participate.

    Just a thought. But either way, I'd take the placement. You've researched this thoroughly in the past, so what's the decision?