DC1 was talking with husband and claimed that we treat him like he is imposing on our generosity. When h. said that we do not feel that way , DC1 said that he got that feeling from a talk with me that "frankly he is not over , yet" During said talk, I was critical of him, I admit. I said he could have done better at University had he not partied . He graduated magna cum laude and he asked what else I want from him and that no matter what it's never good enough. I felt terrible about that - he has a point. He said he did everything I asked and that school was miserable for him, that he could only get through it by using various vices like alcohol,pot, cigarettes . I was harping on the pot use (which was daily for a while semester). My point was that besides good grades, he could have actually learned stuff that prepared him for a job, done an internship (he said every senester he was going to do one and then never signed up), talked with the career center to get hooked up with work, gotten involved in his department. He left campus after class pretty much every day and went to a girl's apartment (she was not a student, didn't work and just got high every day) and got stoned. He defended all these actions with excuses . I did not feel good after this conversation .I felt I was too critical and not loving. I am still so very disappointed that son did drugs (it wasn't just pot) at uni and never tried to actually engage with other students or take advantage of all they offered . But I have never said to him that he is imposing on our generosity or that he is a burden .I have made statements to the contrary, in fact, while making it clear that we expect him to get a job .Which he has now. So why would he claim that we treat him like that? Is it his own guilt? Projection? It bothers me that he would think that . He is loved and we offered for him to move back home when after he graduated he didn't have a car or job.