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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 751778" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Keyword-overreact. Me too. I have been in a real slump and as it turns out with solid communication, my son and his wife have not been ghosting me. They are just really busy and they are looking forward to my visit, which is coming up soon. They have been my rock because of May (40 y/o alcoholic with borderline behaviors, though not diagnosed). I have been so traumatized that I have a knee jerk reaction with all the other children. Finally, after having a nightmare, I called for a second time, but this time I called my daughter in law who was very gracious and said she was glad I called and she totally understood why I would react the way I did after all I have been through. I suffered for a week, unnecessarily. Maybe the lines of communication are needing some attention because of your other son. It's easy to go there. It's understandable that you have concerns for drug abuse (which includes alcohol, in my humble opinion). Does he just want to stay stoned so he doesn't have to interact with life, or does he use it to slow down his mind? High achievers often are tightly wound. He is going to do what he is going to do and we don't have one thing we can do to change that. I am praying that when he gets the job that fits his expectations, he won't want to escape. If he is able to hold down a job, he is functioning and in the end. Our wishes for our children are based on our own experiences and we want to protect them, but the truth is, we can't. All we can do is to let them know they are at risk and encourage them to make informed choices. It's understandable that we over-react. You have been such a good mentor to me on this journey. You said something to me that has helped beyond all measure. When communicating with our wayward adult children, try to communicate as if they are our best friends children. </p><p></p><p>Love and light. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 751778, member: 23811"] Keyword-overreact. Me too. I have been in a real slump and as it turns out with solid communication, my son and his wife have not been ghosting me. They are just really busy and they are looking forward to my visit, which is coming up soon. They have been my rock because of May (40 y/o alcoholic with borderline behaviors, though not diagnosed). I have been so traumatized that I have a knee jerk reaction with all the other children. Finally, after having a nightmare, I called for a second time, but this time I called my daughter in law who was very gracious and said she was glad I called and she totally understood why I would react the way I did after all I have been through. I suffered for a week, unnecessarily. Maybe the lines of communication are needing some attention because of your other son. It's easy to go there. It's understandable that you have concerns for drug abuse (which includes alcohol, in my humble opinion). Does he just want to stay stoned so he doesn't have to interact with life, or does he use it to slow down his mind? High achievers often are tightly wound. He is going to do what he is going to do and we don't have one thing we can do to change that. I am praying that when he gets the job that fits his expectations, he won't want to escape. If he is able to hold down a job, he is functioning and in the end. Our wishes for our children are based on our own experiences and we want to protect them, but the truth is, we can't. All we can do is to let them know they are at risk and encourage them to make informed choices. It's understandable that we over-react. You have been such a good mentor to me on this journey. You said something to me that has helped beyond all measure. When communicating with our wayward adult children, try to communicate as if they are our best friends children. Love and light. :staystrong: [/QUOTE]
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