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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Dealing with desperation
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 730111" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>He is not your wife's "little boy". He is her fully grown adult man of a son. He NEEDS to be on his own, not in your house. He CHOSE to not work, not address whatever problems are going on, not to meet his responsibilities and support himself OR his child.</p><p></p><p>Allowing your fully grown stepson to move into your basement will accomplish nothing but problems. It will create havoc in your home and stress in your marriage. Why would you want to do this?</p><p></p><p>It sounds as if he has a drinking problem. It would be good for both you and his mother to attend Alanon meetings. Addiction/alcoholism changes everyone in the family, not just the person consuming the alcohol. It would help your wife eventually see that she isn't helping him if she contributes to his drinking by letting him stay in the basement. If Alanon isn't a good fit, then a private therapist with experience in substance abuse and codependency would be a good thing. It can be a big help to have that type of focused support as you go through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 730111, member: 1233"] He is not your wife's "little boy". He is her fully grown adult man of a son. He NEEDS to be on his own, not in your house. He CHOSE to not work, not address whatever problems are going on, not to meet his responsibilities and support himself OR his child. Allowing your fully grown stepson to move into your basement will accomplish nothing but problems. It will create havoc in your home and stress in your marriage. Why would you want to do this? It sounds as if he has a drinking problem. It would be good for both you and his mother to attend Alanon meetings. Addiction/alcoholism changes everyone in the family, not just the person consuming the alcohol. It would help your wife eventually see that she isn't helping him if she contributes to his drinking by letting him stay in the basement. If Alanon isn't a good fit, then a private therapist with experience in substance abuse and codependency would be a good thing. It can be a big help to have that type of focused support as you go through this. [/QUOTE]
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Dealing with desperation
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