I have spent the last month off work because once again I had hit the wall. My anxiety levels were so high I couldn't function at work and my job is a very demanding & high pressure environment. In the past month my son has only made it to school around noon or later. He sleeps through the morning like nothing else in the world is happening. He still smokes weed constantly, and is doing so in the house again after a brief hiatus after I threatened to take off his room door. He does not contribute in the home, he treats me with disdain all or most of the time unless he wants something from me. We don't speak, we don't share time & space, he's in his room and/or out of the house for hours without letting me know where he is or when he'll be home. I am so tired. I am so depleted and I am so resentful. I recently visited a friend who has kids my son's age. They are thriving and reaching milestones that are appropriate for their age. I felt so sick with shame and resentment. I want to feel happy for others around me who have kids who are on track; but I don't. I feel self pity I guess. I never thought I would dislike my own child, for many years we were very close and shared a good relationship. These days I feel so resentful I find myself stuck. How do you deal with this level of constant negativity?