I know we all worry about our kids; all parents do but I think the parents of difficult children have a corner on the market. I've pretty much accepted that Duckie's future, ultimately, is in her own hands and all I can do is guide and support her along the way. It seems to be working so far but she's only ten. I do worry, however, about losing her. Her allergies and asthma keep me worried. She had an allergic reaction a few weeks ago that was downright terrifying and then I found out last week that her epipen hadn't been travelling with her on the school bus. I find that I feel an incredible amount of fear that she's going to go into anaphylaxis or even have a severe asthma attack and not survive. I know many of our parents with mood disordered children fear not only for their kids' future but also fear the high incidence of suicide among this group of teens and young adults. How do I learn to cope? I've gained weight, lost countless nights of sleep and have caused hundreds (maybe thousands) of dollars of dental problems by grinding my teeth. It's not a continual thing, just tied to Duckie's medical episodes. I've tried saying the serenity prayer, working out, taking "me" time, etc.... and yet I'm pulled right back every time she's at risk. I think it's normal to be stressed in the moment or just after, but it seems to take me several days to feel relaxed. Her health isn't going to miraculously improve markedly any time soon.