Dear Abby on Religious vs Legal Marriages

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Donna...I got to really thinking about all those pesky legal issues after I got out of the hospital this fall. Now the hospital just assumed that Tony was my husband and never asked him to produce anything to sign all the paperwork for my care. My last name is L and his is M. It should be quite obvious that we are not married but there are couples who do have different last names but it is rare. Nobody asked though. Now it really wouldnt have mattered in my situation because all 3 of my adult children were present and could have made any medical decisions for me. (gawd...can you imagine Cory being responsible for my medical care...lol)

I have since then decided I really need...both Tony and I need...medical and durable powers of attorney. This is really important since we are not legally married. I was actually quite surprised that my family was able to handle as much as they did with my bills, banking and medical stuff. I guess it was good that most of my stuff was done online and over the phone via debit card. Thankfully I had given Tony my PIN number for the debit card. Billy knew how to access my passwords online. Together they figured it out. I was of no use...lol.
 

rejectedmom

New Member
I do not understand how they can do this. Traditionally the church /minister usually files the paperwork not the couple. I agree that this is just another way to manipulate the system at the expense of Joe Taxpayer. :mad: -RM
 

Abbey

Spork Queen
I waited a day to respond to this as it is a touchy issue for me right now. H and I lived together for 7 years then finally got married in CA because they have some kooky laws regarding a death of a common law spouse. To me, it's a piece of paper. Marriage to me is in the heart and I don't need a piece of paper to prove that.

Oddly enough I've been having a 'marriage war' with Goat Boy. (Yes, he's still around.) I found that the silence treatment works better than anything.:tongue: We just sit and watch movies, maybe go to lunch, then one day he says he can't see me anymore because I'm married. Huh? Then starts quoting scriptures to me. I told him to find me ONE place in the bible that you can't have an opposite sex friend. But the key word was when I said, "If you believe in God...," yadda. IF was a deal breaker. That's when the war started and we got into it about what a marriage is, legal or in the heart. Evidently the piece of paper is more important to him.

Men.

Abbey
 
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