Decision made (i hope)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So I talked to both of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s that have openings, and I know who I want to go with. They are still doing insurance stuff and have not officially accepted difficult child as a pt, but the access coordinator was fairly sure they would accept him. Secure transport is arranged and insurance will pay, and wrap coordinator asked if they use restraints or hand cuffs, and only in extreme circumstances. The gentleman said he had spent 3 hours convincing a boy to get in the car last week.....that says a lot.

    difficult children old psychiatrist works at this facility.... .i asked the access lady. She asked if I wanted him to treat difficult child. I said I was not against that, that ash I saw out there were 2 ways to look at it. He knows difficult child and knows more of the family stuff, but sometimes a set of fresh eyes are good too. I said I would like to speak with him (i don't expect him to call but just wanted to mention that). I said why don't we ask psychiatrist if he wants to ready difficult child? She says she would bring it up to him. She also said I could be present at the medication management appts, but I could not be intrusive (i do not plan on that) and that psychiatrist did need time alone with difficult child. That is fine, I understand and respect that.

    Wrap coordinator is looking into getting me gas vouchers to help out with the expense of driving over there.....i told her I realized I woulda be going over more than some parents and would have to part for some of it myself, but any help would be appreciated.

    I should know by tomorrow by about this time if it is all a go, and I should like to go up there thursday. I want to have transport come about 7:15, that way easy child will be at school, and I can tell difficult child about what is going on about 7, so I do not have to deal with a meltdown our tears for too long.

    My gut is in knots, my heart is aching, but my head knows this is what I need to do for my son. I don't want him following in the footprints of his father or uncle, and I don't know what else to do to help him. I so hope he does not hate me when all this is over.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Good luck- I will keep you in my thoughts.
  3. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    This is the really hard part, hang in there. Take a little time after he leaves for the emotional release and get your warrior mom gear on again. Your son may be angry or upset, just repeat the mantra, I am doing this because I love you and I want you to have a good life, over and over and over.

    My only advice, FWIW, is not to tell his sister ahead of time.

    Do you know how long the placement will be? For all this, I hope it will be long enough to give him a chance to reset a bit--not a quickie in and out medication wash.

    You are strong to being doing all this. Hugs and courage to you.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    :flower:I am thinking of you and want you just to know I care. I pray he will be safe and cooperative and that you will find peace with this decision in time.
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Fingers crossed all goes smoothly. -RM
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CM...I will be thinking of you guys. As someone who had a kid in and out of placements for most of his teen years I can tell you that mine doesnt hate us at all.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I hope that everything goes smoothly. Juest remember what you said: you are doing this for his own good. He may not believe it, but it's the truth. Maybe, hopefully, someday he will see that.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive hugs. DDD
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thank you all for your support, I will stand form and he is going, but the reinforcement that this of the right thing to do helps immensely
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending extra strength and lots of hugs.
  11. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Something that comforts me with all the therapies I do for difficult child 1 is that difficult child 1 might have X's dna, but he has something X never had. A mom who loves him enough to say "yes, my son has a problem. Lets try to help him have a happy life." difficult child 1 has a better chance at a happy adulthood because I sent him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I drag him into psychiatrists and tdocs, I make sure he gets his medications. I fight for him while he was dragging his heels and fighting me on it. After enough therapy now difficult child 1 sometimes is seeing the need for the tdocs, psychiatrists, and medications. It takes awhile, but he will eventually see that sending him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was good for him too.

    You're a good mom. You do what hurts now because it will help him.
  12. keista

    keista New Member

    All so very true!

    Sending strength and positive thoughts your way.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  14. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Liahona, what you said is so true and is something my therapist and friends remind me of frequently. It is hard to send him away, but it would be worse to watch him self destruct. Or to have him become embolden with juvie. I felt much better today after speaking with the facility and being told I can go to his psychiatrist appts.

    I have been on and off the phone all day with wrap coordinator, facilities, and difficult child therapist. Talking to her helped quite a bit. She said he would probably fall apart, and them start to improve. I figure he will raise holy hades, but you know? Maybe it is good that someone other than me get to see how he can get. I am lucky that the professionals involved believe me and do not blame me like so many have to deal with. I have heard that the situation with s2bx could be making things worse, and I whole heartedly could they not??

    It will be interesting if difficult children old psychiatrist ends up treating him, he was my psychiatrist also. When my therapist and I decided I needed medications? I sent him an email asking if he would see me, he replied yes, call and make an appointment, but had his secretary call me the next day and he saw me within a few days. I remember was so hard to let my guard down, to be honest with him, but he did a great job of guiding me through it.

    Thank you all for your support. I should know tomorrow by noonish for sure, and hope to have this over by the weekend.
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    There are only so many options. You need to remember that NOT going this road, really increases the chances that you end up exactly where you don't want to be... so, even if after all of this, it doesn't go the way you want, you will have the comfort of knowing you did what you could.

  16. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    CM I'm so relieved for you in reading this! You're right that this is going to be unbelieveably hard for both of you at first. But you know this is probably the best thing for him at this point. And Lord knows you do NOT want the alternative. This too shall pass... ((((Hugs))))