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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Decisions, decisions... Now what??
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 679227" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi and welcome.... It is a tough situation being out of fhe country.</p><p></p><p>So good advice about slowing down. Before you do anything you and your husband need to be on the same page.... It makes a huge difference in dealing with this stuff to have the support and love of each other.</p><p></p><p>I think my approach (given what I know now from experience with my son and also with discussions with my very together college daughter is this... I would focus on what is clearly consequences of his behavior at school. So his falling grades and the school infractions. If he keeps it up it may be out of your hands because he could get kicked out. Anyway I would focus on those issues rather than focusing on how much he is drinking etc. Clearly his alcohol use is a problem but he needs to see that.... It is not going to accomplish anything for you to point it out or to harp on it.</p><p></p><p>I would tell him you will continue to help with school if he keeps his grades up, but you are not going to pay for college if he is not doing well. He will not manage to do well if he is drinking like it sounds like he is. </p><p></p><p>Good luck with all of it... And I agree don't move back!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 679227, member: 15801"] Hi and welcome.... It is a tough situation being out of fhe country. So good advice about slowing down. Before you do anything you and your husband need to be on the same page.... It makes a huge difference in dealing with this stuff to have the support and love of each other. I think my approach (given what I know now from experience with my son and also with discussions with my very together college daughter is this... I would focus on what is clearly consequences of his behavior at school. So his falling grades and the school infractions. If he keeps it up it may be out of your hands because he could get kicked out. Anyway I would focus on those issues rather than focusing on how much he is drinking etc. Clearly his alcohol use is a problem but he needs to see that.... It is not going to accomplish anything for you to point it out or to harp on it. I would tell him you will continue to help with school if he keeps his grades up, but you are not going to pay for college if he is not doing well. He will not manage to do well if he is drinking like it sounds like he is. Good luck with all of it... And I agree don't move back! [/QUOTE]
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Decisions, decisions... Now what??
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