Decreasing Dependence?

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by TheBoyHasArrived, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. TheBoyHasArrived

    TheBoyHasArrived New Member

    So, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. We were able to arrange for a 1-1 paraprofessional for Kiddo to be included in general education last year. He HAS to have someone designated for him to keep him on task and remove him from the classroom if his behavior escalates. But, the level of dependence that he has now is ridiculous. He needs to be CONSTANTLY told what to do or not to do; he won't even eat without prompts (instead, he'll pretend his food is a helicopter, etc., and take hours to finish a meal--significant attention issues).

    Has anyone had success with having a 1-1 for their child without making him/her so dependent? We are thinking about visuals to limit the verbal prompting from the para but need more ideas...
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think verbal prompts are a great way to start - but the 1:1 has to have the attention of your difficult child first! When a 1:1 was first proposed for my difficult child, I had the same worry about dependence. Over time, it naturally worked itself out.

    *When my difficult child got is 1:1, he (the 1:1) was considered a crisis
    councilor. He spent the first couple years glued to his side. As time went on and difficult child matured (and attended talk therapy where the learned to identify the building of his anger and frustration and methods to self modulate) the 1:1 was able to step away a little - sit in the back of room, observe from another lunch table, etc. Then he was able to go outside the classroom from time to time, then just be present in the building if he was needed. difficult child was also given options of things he could do at school himself by our IEP team to begin to work things out on his own.

    All of these changes were things we spoke about at IEP meetings or discussed directly with his 1:1. The tapering was all done with difficult child's knowledge - he was prepped ahead of time and guidelines for his responsibility were laid out.

    It took a number of years, but many of our difficult children mature much slower than their peers so it's "power for the course" so to speak.

  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son had an aide who was in the classroom if he needed her, but she tried to step back and let him do what he could by himself. And he learned to ask for help if he needed it, which I felt was a positive (he was adopted too and had similar issues to your son). The aide, however, did not have to worry about him acting out in the classroom because he never did, so that's a big difference...

    I think it helped my son that he was also in a Special Education class for half the day. It was mostly for kids with mild cognitive delays, but they all had different problems. In THAT class, he emerged as a leader and did not have anyone sitting beside h im and he flourished. At almost twenty years old now, he is almost completely independent. He will need a little help as an adult, but he will work, live alone, and have his own place. He has job help and a caseworker who keeps an eye on him, but he is doing much better than we ever dreamed when he first came to us at two years old.

    These early years, especially if parents did drugs while pregnant do strange things to our kids. And your little guy was also institutionalized where I am guessing he was told what to do for everything. (We also adopted a child from Hong Kong who spent his first six years in an orphanage). All kids respond differently to their early starts in life. The boy from Hong Kong was independent from Day One and brilliant and today he owns his own company, but he couldn't attach and we don't see him anymore.

    Your child is wired differently on many levels and you k ind of have to experiment to see what works for HIM. There are no easy answers. I wanted Sonic in Special Education because the awesome teacher let him work at his own pace and he learned to do things himself. He also mad friends, both special needs and some who were "typical." But he was also mainstreamed for several classes.