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defiant 8 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 651534" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hello White. People, including me, who come to the forum have a tendency to often say the same (usually useful) things <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> One of mine is that we cannot diagnose anything online. For that you need professionals, in the flesh. Not to downplay people's experience but just to state the obvious. We do not at all know that your son is on the autism spectrum. What we do know is that he finds transitions and disappointment very difficult. I have a son like that, who is ADHD - but I am not at all suggesting your son is ADHD. He would have had problems outside the home by now if he were! So it becomes a question of understanding, accepting and managing that behaviour and letting go (difficult) of normal ways of disciplining or trying to modify behaviour. I agree very much that he needs a fixed time and schedule for when he comes off the electronics and as Insane Cdn says, if he could be weaned off that at bedtime altogether that would be good. Offer something else he wants instead, otherwise it won't work. On reading your message I thought of E, the son of a friend of mine. He is about 11 now and the only "diagnosis" he has is of quite severe dyslexia. Outside the home he is generally charming and well-behaved. Inside, though, and particularly with his mother, he can be a holy terror - defiant, verbally abusive, a real pain. He too is addicted to electronic games, though it is better now than he used to be and lots of rages seemed to be related to that. Thing is, other than that, he is clearly a nice kid, who gets on well with others and has loads of friends (so definitely not ADHD, for a start). My son is also a really nice kid but for reasons he can't help, mainly, I cannot say he gets on well with others consistently or has loads of friends. </p><p></p><p>That is my two or twenty cents' worth. Don't worry about the diagnosis but find a way of managing the behaviour.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 651534, member: 11227"] Hello White. People, including me, who come to the forum have a tendency to often say the same (usually useful) things :) One of mine is that we cannot diagnose anything online. For that you need professionals, in the flesh. Not to downplay people's experience but just to state the obvious. We do not at all know that your son is on the autism spectrum. What we do know is that he finds transitions and disappointment very difficult. I have a son like that, who is ADHD - but I am not at all suggesting your son is ADHD. He would have had problems outside the home by now if he were! So it becomes a question of understanding, accepting and managing that behaviour and letting go (difficult) of normal ways of disciplining or trying to modify behaviour. I agree very much that he needs a fixed time and schedule for when he comes off the electronics and as Insane Cdn says, if he could be weaned off that at bedtime altogether that would be good. Offer something else he wants instead, otherwise it won't work. On reading your message I thought of E, the son of a friend of mine. He is about 11 now and the only "diagnosis" he has is of quite severe dyslexia. Outside the home he is generally charming and well-behaved. Inside, though, and particularly with his mother, he can be a holy terror - defiant, verbally abusive, a real pain. He too is addicted to electronic games, though it is better now than he used to be and lots of rages seemed to be related to that. Thing is, other than that, he is clearly a nice kid, who gets on well with others and has loads of friends (so definitely not ADHD, for a start). My son is also a really nice kid but for reasons he can't help, mainly, I cannot say he gets on well with others consistently or has loads of friends. That is my two or twenty cents' worth. Don't worry about the diagnosis but find a way of managing the behaviour. [/QUOTE]
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