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General Parenting
Defiant and destructive
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 733796" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If this child has been ripped from his parents at age twelve, he probably has attachment disorder on top of everything else and it is truly unrealistic to expect him to not be angry, mistrustful, abandoned, betrayed and secretly not happy that he is not with his parents, even if they abused him. We did foster care and adopted two older kids and they don't adjust that well to being taken from one home and given new parents. You are probably doing everything right, but the child's life has been tragic and he has disabilities on top of his life being turned upside down and his ability to trust people ripped apart.</p><p></p><p>Is he in therapy? It could help. Attachment problems are hard to treat. The kids tend to be very defiant and worse. It is not easy to take a child and expect him not to be traumatized by the move. Our older adoptees never really recovered.</p><p></p><p>What's up with the parents? Was he taken out if the home abruptly? Did he know and love you before he moved in? If not, this is just like an older child adoption, and it is going g to be very hard. It's way different than a kid you raised from birth. It is way way different. And it's hard.</p><p></p><p>Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder. I have seen it and this child sounds like he has it mixed in with the autism. Autism on its own is challenging. Along with attachment disorder he is going to give you a run for your money and he is going to probably not respond to consequences regarding his behavior. It is beyond frustrating. At worst, these kids can be dangerous to others. Are other children in your home?</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 733796, member: 1550"] If this child has been ripped from his parents at age twelve, he probably has attachment disorder on top of everything else and it is truly unrealistic to expect him to not be angry, mistrustful, abandoned, betrayed and secretly not happy that he is not with his parents, even if they abused him. We did foster care and adopted two older kids and they don't adjust that well to being taken from one home and given new parents. You are probably doing everything right, but the child's life has been tragic and he has disabilities on top of his life being turned upside down and his ability to trust people ripped apart. Is he in therapy? It could help. Attachment problems are hard to treat. The kids tend to be very defiant and worse. It is not easy to take a child and expect him not to be traumatized by the move. Our older adoptees never really recovered. What's up with the parents? Was he taken out if the home abruptly? Did he know and love you before he moved in? If not, this is just like an older child adoption, and it is going g to be very hard. It's way different than a kid you raised from birth. It is way way different. And it's hard. Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder. I have seen it and this child sounds like he has it mixed in with the autism. Autism on its own is challenging. Along with attachment disorder he is going to give you a run for your money and he is going to probably not respond to consequences regarding his behavior. It is beyond frustrating. At worst, these kids can be dangerous to others. Are other children in your home? Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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