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Defiant and destructive
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 733797" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Hi there,</p><p></p><p>The first thing I would do is decide if you are willing for this arrangement to be permanent. If you are, then I advise you to obtain legal custody of this child so you can decide how to proceed with his treatment and care.</p><p></p><p>From what you write it seems obvious that this young man, sadly, has many many problems and most likely cannot live productively in a home setting. He needs to learn the basics such as appropriate hygiene practices, controlling his anger so that he and others do not get hurt, and following directions appropriately.</p><p></p><p>I hate to sound heartless but if this boy is not your legal responsibility, I would think long and hard before signing up for this ride. The inappropriate peeing alone is a huge danger signal for possible psychopathic tendencies especially given that he seems to act out violently against others as it is.</p><p></p><p>He will grow bigger and stronger. You will not be able to control him when he is 16, 17, 18 years old and STILL doing these same things.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying there is no hope for children like him; there is, but usually that hope comes in the form of residential care. From what you say, he doesn't have the first inkling of how to interact appropriately in a family setting. He needs to learn those skills and unfortunately a highly structurerd therapeutic school, group home or treatment center is the best place. You CANNOT do this through parenting, he needs intensive therapy with skilled professionals 24/7 especially given the impact of his autism. Once he has learned more of these very basic skills he may be able to slowly re-integrate into family living.</p><p></p><p>Placing him in the hands of child protective services would be a good way to start him on the path to receiving this help.</p><p></p><p>If you are not legal guardians then you have no say and no power over his care. There is literally nothing you can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 733797, member: 13303"] Hi there, The first thing I would do is decide if you are willing for this arrangement to be permanent. If you are, then I advise you to obtain legal custody of this child so you can decide how to proceed with his treatment and care. From what you write it seems obvious that this young man, sadly, has many many problems and most likely cannot live productively in a home setting. He needs to learn the basics such as appropriate hygiene practices, controlling his anger so that he and others do not get hurt, and following directions appropriately. I hate to sound heartless but if this boy is not your legal responsibility, I would think long and hard before signing up for this ride. The inappropriate peeing alone is a huge danger signal for possible psychopathic tendencies especially given that he seems to act out violently against others as it is. He will grow bigger and stronger. You will not be able to control him when he is 16, 17, 18 years old and STILL doing these same things. I am not saying there is no hope for children like him; there is, but usually that hope comes in the form of residential care. From what you say, he doesn't have the first inkling of how to interact appropriately in a family setting. He needs to learn those skills and unfortunately a highly structurerd therapeutic school, group home or treatment center is the best place. You CANNOT do this through parenting, he needs intensive therapy with skilled professionals 24/7 especially given the impact of his autism. Once he has learned more of these very basic skills he may be able to slowly re-integrate into family living. Placing him in the hands of child protective services would be a good way to start him on the path to receiving this help. If you are not legal guardians then you have no say and no power over his care. There is literally nothing you can do. [/QUOTE]
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