Defiant Child - Part 4

part 4/ Defiant child

The Definition of competent and appropriate behavior. p. 119
~why do kids place so much importance upon attitude?
~it's the only thing they own!!!
~since it's all they own they spend time perfecting it
~parent's have the right to demand that their children make themselves pleasant to be around
~Necessary skills for projecting a pleasant attitude include:
~ eye contact--ODD kids refuse to make it as a purposeful insult and a show of defiance. adults demand it because it conveys respect and willingness to engage in interpersonal interactions
*ground rule p. 122
~nonverbal communication--teens may slouch or turn away from you while being spoken to, roll their eyes, make faces or exaggerated expressions and laughing at what you say
~when called on the above behaviors, they'll probably deny doing it, they feel they have done nothing wrong since they haven't hit, swore at or grabbed anyone.
*ground rules p. 123
~verbal reciprocation--being able to use more than one word as an answer
~learning to talk--some kids just don't know how to talk to other people
~they know how to argue, use put downs, etc, but not to have a conversation
***they must be taught how to state their opinions without being offensive to others*** they are entitled to have their opinions, but state them appropriately
*ground rules p. 127
~Group interaction--being in groups will teach your teen to be one of the gang, so they will be more at ease with others
*ground rules p. 130
~Choosing appropriate friends --please meet your child's friends
~tell teen you want him to broaden his group of associates.

end of part 4 / part 5 coming soon.....

jessica'smom- can you add this to the archive?? thanks.........

Ellenkath, AKA: DRAMA MAMA, Mom of: male difficult child 15 yr.Diagnosed ADHD at 10 yr. Recently diagnosed ODD, possible emerging bi-polar. In day treatment program since spring 2000. Male easy child 18 yr.
Co-facilitator for a Parents Helping Parents support group, URL=
Are we having fun yet?? "He who laughs, lasts." M.P. Poole