Department of Juvenile Justice- great news!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Nov 18, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I wrote a letter to the director of difficult child's facility asking about coordinating difficult child's release date and the possibility of him being released early. She just called and had me on speakerphone. Shee said she had just gotten the letter (she responded very quickly and was very nice). Anyway, she's starting the process to get special approval from Department of Juvenile Justice higher-ups and said she "felt very favorable" that difficult child should and would be released early and that she thought Jan. was doable given the circumstances.

    She asked about the job and agreed that a military environment might be a great thing for difficult child and help him stay on a good track. We agreed not to tell difficult child yet so he wouldn't have more to worry about being up in the air- he will be so surprised if this all comes thru! It will make his Christmas, that's for sure.

    But here's another great thing that I had wished but never mentioned because I didn't think it was possible- The director recommended that difficult child get a "direct release" instead of going on parole!! She said many parentss have lost their jobs trying to do what probation and parole officers require and after what I've been through and given how well difficult child has done, and the interstate requirements of us moving to HI, she thinks it would be best for us not to have this. I said I agree because of the stress of it all before contributing to difficult child's escalation of problems last year, but I said I did not think I could get it changed. I told her I thought it would take the recommendation from them to the parole officer, then him getting that signed off by the judge (it was the judge that ordered parole after incarceration). She said she was going to call the person in charge of our district's parole officers right now and see about getting the requirement changed so difficult child will not be on parole when released- WE WILL BE DONE!!!! OMG- nothing would make me happier! :D :D :D

    This kid better never get in trouble legally again! LOL! If this happens, he really will have a new chance at a new life with all this behind us. Not that I don't recognize that he's probably not "cured" from being a difficult child, but we could go back to "normal" issues with a therapist and so forth, not court orders and threats and probation/parole requirements. I really could ease up on some things as long as he does his part. I am so excited!

    I don't know if this should be on General instead of here- I can't even think straight right now! Let's just hope no one has to get the GAL involved- she'll try to undermine the whole thing.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
  2. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Wow!!! What a great thing to hope for. I truly hope this all pans out.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    OMG, K, I am praying praying praying and giddy for you! Keep us posted!
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    thank you! The director was funny- she started the conversation by identifying herself then said she was calling to tell me she wanted to go to HI with us. LOL! I couldn't get over how nice she was given that she's a director of a Department of Juvenile Justice facility.

    I'll definitely be adding to my list of things to be thankful for it all this comess thru!
  5. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Another one praying this all comes through for you both!
  6. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Great idea about NO Probation/parole....... it is a pain........ fingers crossed it all comes together!
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm going to go ahead and move it over to General.

    That's really good news. At least you'll have him close and this will be a do-over for him, a totally different environment. A new beginning for him and you!
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    How great is that? Keeping fingers crossed for you!
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    thank you! difficult child knows I'm supposed to hear about the job very soon so he is calling almost every night. LOL! I guess part of that is because they canceled visitation the last 2 weeks due to the flu, too.

    I would have asked the director to just let difficult child keep the parole requirement if I'd thought it help keep him on a good path but I can't see that probation ever helped with anything- which is a shame because it seemed like tax payers dollars down the tuubes to me. I still agree that difficult child could really use a good mentor but if we go to HI, I'm thinking maybe I can arrange or find some military person to do that- maybe if difficult child stays in JROTC we can arrange it thru that. He is gun-ho on the army right now. I'm suggesting the marine corps instead but shoot, the army is better than prison so I won't fight that too much. LOL! He's afraid he can't get in the marine corps, but I'm thinking if he can stay off medications and out of trouble, and stays in JROTC, he can get a waiver.

    And I'm reminding hiim that his mind can change over the next few years, too, so not to close any doors to any opportunity. He says he wants to get a bachelor's degree, go in the military as an officer, then maybe get out and work and go to school to get a higher degree part time. Geez.... I just want him to keep decent grades in high school so he can get into a college if he wants to at some point. But, I told him that if he is in ROTC in college, he can go into the military afterwards and have that education paid for and be an officer- it's not a bad deal at all.

    Also, I don't want him "locking" into the military just yet because he might need to go back on medications and if it turns out that he is BiPolar (BP) and has to have them, I think any branch of the military is out. I don't want him to be crushed if that happens. Maybe I should remind him that everyone needs a Plan B.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
  10. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is wonderful news !! :)
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Like all the CD family members I have my fingers crossed! DDD
  12. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Great news!!! I hope this works out for you both. A direct release without parole sounds like a very sensible thing to do. You can both get on with your lives.

    Fingers and toes are crossed!
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I am praying for you guys. That would be so great.

    How funny about the Director of Department of Juvenile Justice. Tell her she can come with you if you get the job, you need a She can help keep difficult child on the right path!
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I really appreciate all the support and well wishes and fingers crossed! I don't know how I would have survived this past year if it wasn't for this board. I'm so giddy now it's hard for me to accomplish anything. LOL! All the "what if's keep running thru my mind but I'll just try to stay focused enough to work on me "critical list".

    Janet- you have a great idea about the director- between the director and a brawny soldier in uniform, difficult child would have a pretty good chance wouldn't he?
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What wonderful possibilities! I hope that this all comes to pass. It would be the best thing for you, difficult child and your futures!!

    I am glad that you finally got to speak with someone who has common sense!!! That is not only wonderful, but is a miracle given all who have "helped" (NOT!) before this.

    Praying and hoping for the best outcome!!
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    k -

    great news about the potential early release! Fingers crossed about the job still....

  17. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just wonder how long it will take to get a decision and if she had to ask for a specific date or just permission to let difficult child out sometime in Jan. and she can pick the date. The CM had told me that this higher-up Department of Juvenile Justice group meets once a week and it would take two meetings to get this approved. I have no idea why but if they don;t receive it until next week and if by chance they don't have a meeting next week due to TG, that puts the decision off a month. Assuming the job comes thru, I can't wait a month to tell them when I will be there. I also don't want to be in mid-December paying for and scheduling airplane flights to HI. I've been reading and seeing that the cost is going up pretty high for the holidays and are not expected to come back down for flights after the holidays, so the sooner I can get them the better.

    The security officer knows difficult child is incarcerated with Department of Juvenile Justice but I really don't think I can tell the HR agent that I need to wait a few weeks to tell her when I can be there because it will depend on when Department of Juvenile Justice will release difficult child. I guess if I'd asked for difficult child to get released right before Christmas and they agreed to it, it wouldn't have made a difference in when I can go and I could tell them the end of Dec either way. But I didn't think there would be a very good chance of them agreeing to an early release that is 2 months eaarlier than planned instead of 6 weeks, and to ask for difficult child to be released right before the holidays almost makes it sound bogus.

    I sent a letter to the therapist today. I have really been concerned about this family therapy sending the wrong messages to difficult child. I think therapist has her own issues so I hope this letter doesn't put her on the defensive. I waited until I was objective as I could be instead of emotional and just wrote my concerns in order to minimize the chances of her takiung it as an attack on her, but I figure I have a right to tell her that I am concerned that my son is getting the message that "I drove him to pull a knife on me because my rules are too strict". He didn't go to school so he didn't get to go out with friends- and that drove him to this? BS!
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2009
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    K...right now, I think I would agree with therapist on just about anything! If she wants to say...he can go out on weeknights and party all night long with snoop and nod! LOL.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well I have thought about that and I would except for two things- 1) and the biggest one here- I have to live with difficult child expecting this from me and he already had a habit of trying to blame me for his agression towards me and his breaking the law so I'm not about to let him come home still thinking that I'm buuying into that, and 2) the therapist is a junior member; the psychiatric that I talked with when difficult child was first transferred there is much more qual'd and she seemed to "get it" and she is the head-honcho over this therapist and I have learned that this therapist goes to that psychiatric for breifing her about difficult child, to get input, etc, so I'm thinking that therapist will discuss the lettere with the psychiatric and anyone in their right mind will see that I have valid concerns- not that I am perfect or that some efforts from all sides (including me) doesn't need to be made- just that I have valid concerns.

    The director said she was already tarting the process to get difficult child released early- or to get it approved- so I don't think the therapist had any input or will effect this. I stopped short of saying I was afraid of difficult child in my letter to therapist- I just expressed my concerns and asked that she help us work thru the blame and anger and said I was confident that we could work on privileges ourselves as we got answers to where school requirements, if we are going to be living in HI, etc, and reminded her that there was a pattern to difficult child's problems and it did not seem to me to be a result of my house rules.

    I definitely won't push it though because it isn't worth it at this point- in 3 months we have met 3 times so at this rate, it's not going to get very far anyway, especially if difficult child is getting out in 6 weeks or so.