Depressed and need suggestions for pick-me-up

[BusynMember]

As many of you know, my precious 24 year old daughter came to stay with us this week, and is leaving today. She is the child I am closest to, and I hoped she would stay long term (not in MY house, but maybe set down her roots here). But she really loves her boyfriend and they want to work it out so she is going home today. It's a three hour drive, so she won't be just around the corner.
I am very bummed out about this. What do you guys do for pick-me-ups when you're feeling down? Honestly, when this kid was doing drugs I couldn't wait to get her out of the house...lol. Now she is the person I feel the closest to in the world. My hub and I aren't that close.
Suggestions? I'm already sniveling like a child...

 

[SaraT]

You could try doing something you like. If you like art, go to the museum, if you like the fresh air go for a walk. I like to read, so I'd go get a new book. Anything you like to do may help. Even just a little pampering might help.

Sorry you are down.

 

[nvts]

Oh, I'm so sorry that she left!

First thing I'd do is write her a nice card telling her how wonderful her visit was for you. Let her know that you need to see her as often as possible because of that. Don't lay guilt, just let her know how you feel and how thrilled and proud of her that she's become such a beautiful person. She'll treasure that forever.

Next, start planning for the next visit. Tell her (like Suziestar is doing) that you want to get a jump on the holidays, and maybe she'd like to plan a shopping day the next time she's able to come to town.

Go rent your favorite movie, swing by for a pint of your favorite "Ben and Jerry's", and have a little pampering time for just you. Bask in the glow of the wonderful visit, and plan for the next time she's here.

I'll bet it's pretty hard to watch the tail lights when you actually like them!

Thinking of you,

Beth

 

[trinityroyal]

Beth made some excellent suggestions. Couldn't have said it better.
If you are starting to plan the next visit then you may not feel so lonely at the ending of this one.

In the meantime, take some time to pamper yourself. In addition to the Ben&Jerrys and movie, maybe a manicure/pedicure, or a trip to the local hobby store, or something like that. Whatever it is, pick something that makes you feel great.

{{{HUGS}}} MWM.
So glad to hear that your daughter is doing so well and has come so far.

Trinity

 

[nvts]

Oooohhhh! Trinity had a great idea about the hobby store! What about a craft store? You could make some little things like Christmas ornaments or a Thanksgiving tree (you write the things that your thankful for on the the "leaves") for Thanksgiving to help her set up her place for the holidays.

You could send her a "thinking of you" basket/care package when you're done.

Hope you're feeling a little better!

me

 

[Nomad]

Do you have a girlfriend that would understand this situation? You might invite her to a movie. If you go to a movie, you will get your mind off of what is bothering you and also enjoy the companionship of another human being. Exercise, hobbies....all distractions.
You might want to check out the local community college and see what non credit courses they are offering. There are so many good ones. I took a computer course last summer for a small fee and Spanish the year before. They have often have courses like flower arranging and all sorts of interesting things to chose from. It would be a great way to learn new things, get out of the house and meet people with like interests. In addition, I would do your best to re-kindle and nourish your relationship with your spouse...he can be a source of friendship.

 

[scent of cedar]

Toenail polish.

Looking down at bright, freshly polished toenails gives me a boost, every time.

And you would be surprised how often we look at our feet!

Another thing I find helpful is to raise my eyebrows and make a small smile with my cheeks and lips. Sends some signal to the brain that we are not unhappy.

Also, husband says we should remind ourselves that we have been fortunate in having had the time with them that we did, whenever we become sad that they have left us, again.

That helps me too, sometimes.

Barbara

 

[TerryJ2]

Ohhh, that is so neat.
And I feel your loss.
I will be going through this next yr.
You've gotten some great ideas. I hope some of these work for you.
The best part is that you two ARE getting along and ARE friends. So nice.

 

[Star*]

Get a box.........a plain cardboard box.

When you go out shopping - and see something for "her" get it, put it in the box.

Once a month, bake something she likes from scratch. Wrap it up, put it in the box also and send it to her.

I've done this with my Mom for years - and it helps ME keep from being in the dumps when I look at all the little things I'm sending to my Mom and it helps her have something to look forward to.

Then we get a time after it's received to talk about he times I was out buyin gthe stuff and thought of her and how I thought she'd like it once a month.

It's not a lot but it a nice time and good memories when you can't be together.

 

[klmno]

Just wanted to send my support and HUGS! You've gotten some good ideas already, for things to do to keep you busy and for reaching out to her. She is very lucky to have a Mom who cares so much about her and who truly appreciates time spent with her.

The only thing I can think of is to offer to meet her halfway sometimes to have lunch or shop a little or do something that the both of you would enjoy. I say "halfway" because I think you mentioned she would be 3 hours away.

You're a great Mom- hang in there!!