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Depressed at Thought of Stepdaughter Living Here After Jail
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 622982" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>In the end, you may have to put up some very strong boundaries such as, if you feel that strongly that living with dysfunctional difficult child is awful, if she does come home, you leave with your son.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes we not only need to set boundaries for our dysfunctional adult children, but for our enabling spouses. He is doing her no good. That was proven when she ended up in jail after all of his tender handling of her horrid behaviors. Also, her chaos in the house has certainly harmed you and his son. Enablers, or those who can not set boundaries, tend to get focused on one person only...the one who is causing all the mayhem. And the other loved ones suffer while that person puts all his time and energy into trying to fix somebody else, which is NOT possible. SHE has to fix herself and it would be helpful to all of you if he would stop trying to do the impossible. It may take your leaving to jar him, but then again he may still keep doing her bidding. You have much on your plate.</p><p></p><p>We all sadly forced to make all kinds of difficult choices under these circumstances.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 622982, member: 1550"] In the end, you may have to put up some very strong boundaries such as, if you feel that strongly that living with dysfunctional difficult child is awful, if she does come home, you leave with your son. Sometimes we not only need to set boundaries for our dysfunctional adult children, but for our enabling spouses. He is doing her no good. That was proven when she ended up in jail after all of his tender handling of her horrid behaviors. Also, her chaos in the house has certainly harmed you and his son. Enablers, or those who can not set boundaries, tend to get focused on one person only...the one who is causing all the mayhem. And the other loved ones suffer while that person puts all his time and energy into trying to fix somebody else, which is NOT possible. SHE has to fix herself and it would be helpful to all of you if he would stop trying to do the impossible. It may take your leaving to jar him, but then again he may still keep doing her bidding. You have much on your plate. We all sadly forced to make all kinds of difficult choices under these circumstances. [/QUOTE]
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Depressed at Thought of Stepdaughter Living Here After Jail
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