depression and my son, living in fear

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by upallnight, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    My difficult child is 21, and my youngest is 15. I always thought he was the happiest, most well-rounded kid I could ever imagine. In Dec. 2008, he tried to commit suicide, was in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for a week, and given Prozac. He sees a psychiatric. dr. for renewals, they're 5 minute appointments.

    Since then, he seems to me exactly the way he was, and always is. I have been walking on eggshells since that time. I'm always checking on him, asking him how things are going, and feeling like his mood is something that concerns me more than it should. A normal teenager has up and down moods, but for him- I get scared of this.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I'm soooooooooooo sorry. That's so scary. Is he going to therapy? I would sure want my kid in therapy after that. Did he give any reason for the attempt?
  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    No, He had no reason that he gave. He said he had been planning on doing it for a year. He thought about it all the time, every way he could do it, and he just had no feelings about anything- good or bad.

    He is a very good person, but he has a facade that isn't really how he feels. I didn't even know this is how he was feeling. I hope he's still not feeling like that, that's what scares me. The therapist he went to said he didn't have to come anymore- on the first visit, but we went back once a month about 3 more times.

    At the ER, he was catatonic, not moving, just saying he knows needs medicine.

    I'm just venting, I don't think this walking on eggshell feeling is going away at all for me. Not since then.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    Oh how scary, UAN.

    I sure hope you can get him to see someone (for more than 5 minutes) to help him deal with his pain. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, mom. I also hope you have someone who is helping you to cope with everything.

    Thinking of you and sending prayers and good thougts.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'd be vigilant, too. Considering that you didn't see it coming, and already have an older difficult child. I think that's perfectly normal.

    Maybe you should insist on at least a monthly check-in with a therapist for him... at least until he gets through puberty and the chance of hormonal instability subsides. Then at least you have another set of eyes and ears watching and listening to him, and hopefully able to catch any subtle signs if they creep back in.

    Does the school know about his attempt? I would hope that the school psychiatric at least knows so that people who see him every day at school will be mindful of any changes they see in his behavior.

    It's hard not to worry after you've gone through something like that. Did you get counseling for yourself? That might help you cope with the daily anxiety of it all, too.

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my opinion it was irresponsible of the therapist to dismiss him, considering how good he is at hiding his angst, poor kid. Please try to find a therapist who sees the good sense of building a relationship with your precious boy so that he can be watched. Even the county mental health clinic has tdocs who can talk to him. I have a mood disorder and my therapist and my group (another option--a group of teens who have had depression) really help me and we all look out for one another. It's comforting to know you aren't alone or weird or lacking in support and the teen years are so turbulant. And boys are so good at hiding their feelings.
    I wish you lots of luck. What a sad story. I send you lots of love and hugs and hope somebody is willing to work with your boy. He sounds like a great kid. Maybe he just didn't want to worry anyone--very much like a boy--sometimes they feel they have to suffer with a smile because they are male. :(
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I agree- I think he needs another psychiatrist and therapist. It is astounding to me how long it can take to find good ones.
  8. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    My daughter also attempted to kill herself in October. Since then she goes
    thru periods where she acts normal and periods where she would do it again.
    so watch your son carefully. In September, right before she attempted,
    I took her to a therapist because i suspected she was depressed.
    the therapist said she was a typical teenager and did not need therapy.
    She was wrong! I think u should get another therapist. I will keep u and
    your family in my prayers. sending hugs Rabbit
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    How scary and sad....

    Your son must feel terribly lonely. I wonder if some sort of community involvement would help him feel more connected, more useful and more valued...?

    Just a thought..

  10. crabby erin

    crabby erin New Member

    I can't understand why a therapist would say that a child who has attempted suicide does not need therapy after only one session!:surprise:

    But then again, I know some social workers and therapist personally and they are not people I would trust to "therapatize" me or my kids!! One of the universities here just churns out the therapists - if you have the money, you will get your degree, regardless.

    Prayers for you and your son.
  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sending hugs..........I can understand why you would live in fear all of the time. Have you sought some counseling for yourself? I would think in addition to a good therapist for your son, one for yourself would be helpful too.

    So many of us have PTSD from going thru what we do with these kids - and it sounds like you are experiencing that as well.

    Hugs & wisdom being sent your way.
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending some very gentle hugs your way. I can understand your being so worried. I agree with the others about having him get a new psychiatrist and therapist. Also be sure to take care of you through all of this.