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Failure to Thrive
Desperate and running low on hope- please help
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<blockquote data-quote="Kat@morada" data-source="post: 693715" data-attributes="member: 20458"><p>Thank you for all your replies. I truly appreciate the advice and kind words. It has been a nightmare. We have seen glimmers of hope- he has spent time with friends, taken a little trip away, and his brother came into town for a few days and spent time with him. He seems to "lift" with these things. We are smart enough to know its a minor elevation of mood and not that he's happy- just a moment where he can breathe I suppose. He openly admits that even when he is doing these things- even when he is smiling, he is dying inside and profoundly sad. The last week has taken a turn for the worst. We realized that he is trying to go places and do things where he may see her. He is "there" and always polite/nice etc but understandably she doesn't like it- she has moved on. I will say that she stirring the pot a bit- sending mixed signals, occasionally calling and then when people get around she turns on him. Anyways/ regardless- he really needed to let go and stay away along time ago. Enough has happened that they are no longer friends and last night there was a pretty humiliating public display in front of all of his peers. He is lower- if that's even possible. He will not go for help and even now can't let go. The thought of losing her is too much to bear. We have daily episodes of "I'm done" and "I can't do this anymore". I have walked out of work numerous times to rush home and can't continue. My younger child is suffering as well from years of trauma in the house. On top of all of that my husband may lose his job in the next month or two and if that happens, we will be homeless shortly after. We have no support network. I have never given up in my life, but last night I did. I wailed for 5 hours and am so weak and shakey I can hardly stand, let alone work. I have no plans of doing anything, but let's just say it's a good thing a weapon isn't at my disposal. How do you deal with several years of situations where you are talking your child down from taking his life? He is still not open to counseling or medications. Refuses adamantly. Says he's done it all before, heard it all before and nothing is going to help him or change his situation. We don't agree- I am just repeating his feelings. Forcing him to go into the hospital via police would seal the deal. We have done that three times. It is a county facility (we have no true mental health places) where they are thrown in a locked room and left for a week until they are released. There are many severely mentally ill people in there (nothing wrong with that just a very serious mix) and he doesn't relate. The last time he went defacs got called in because he was hit/beaten up by an orderly. He wont go back willingly and if he is forced I can guarantee what will happen immediately following his release. At least now he trusts us somewhat. I feel like this is a no win situation and we are just waiting. </p><p>I know no one can help me, I just appreciate being able to talk to someone. Anyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kat@morada, post: 693715, member: 20458"] Thank you for all your replies. I truly appreciate the advice and kind words. It has been a nightmare. We have seen glimmers of hope- he has spent time with friends, taken a little trip away, and his brother came into town for a few days and spent time with him. He seems to "lift" with these things. We are smart enough to know its a minor elevation of mood and not that he's happy- just a moment where he can breathe I suppose. He openly admits that even when he is doing these things- even when he is smiling, he is dying inside and profoundly sad. The last week has taken a turn for the worst. We realized that he is trying to go places and do things where he may see her. He is "there" and always polite/nice etc but understandably she doesn't like it- she has moved on. I will say that she stirring the pot a bit- sending mixed signals, occasionally calling and then when people get around she turns on him. Anyways/ regardless- he really needed to let go and stay away along time ago. Enough has happened that they are no longer friends and last night there was a pretty humiliating public display in front of all of his peers. He is lower- if that's even possible. He will not go for help and even now can't let go. The thought of losing her is too much to bear. We have daily episodes of "I'm done" and "I can't do this anymore". I have walked out of work numerous times to rush home and can't continue. My younger child is suffering as well from years of trauma in the house. On top of all of that my husband may lose his job in the next month or two and if that happens, we will be homeless shortly after. We have no support network. I have never given up in my life, but last night I did. I wailed for 5 hours and am so weak and shakey I can hardly stand, let alone work. I have no plans of doing anything, but let's just say it's a good thing a weapon isn't at my disposal. How do you deal with several years of situations where you are talking your child down from taking his life? He is still not open to counseling or medications. Refuses adamantly. Says he's done it all before, heard it all before and nothing is going to help him or change his situation. We don't agree- I am just repeating his feelings. Forcing him to go into the hospital via police would seal the deal. We have done that three times. It is a county facility (we have no true mental health places) where they are thrown in a locked room and left for a week until they are released. There are many severely mentally ill people in there (nothing wrong with that just a very serious mix) and he doesn't relate. The last time he went defacs got called in because he was hit/beaten up by an orderly. He wont go back willingly and if he is forced I can guarantee what will happen immediately following his release. At least now he trusts us somewhat. I feel like this is a no win situation and we are just waiting. I know no one can help me, I just appreciate being able to talk to someone. Anyone. [/QUOTE]
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