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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712826" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your two are NOT children. It is bad for your sanity to even call them children. They are legal adults. Others see especially the 22 year old as an adult. If she has botderline, she wont be nice. It is not smart to expect her to be nice. You may want to read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi krieger. It is about how to best communicate with somebody who is borderline.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing unusual however for adult children to leave home forever. Its the norm. They may have not delivered the news kindly, but maybe they were afraid you would overreact and flip out. Or try to talk them out of if. But they HAVE to leave eventually. All your kids will. You are not going to all live under one roof, including their spouses and children. We dont do that in our culture.</p><p></p><p>Stop thinking of 22 as a kid. Thats when we get into trouble. We have different expectations of children than adults. See her tall, with a deeper voice, breasts and a young womans face. Your 18 is still young, but a legal adult and able to vote, join the military and make his own decisions. You are lucky that you met the Chinese family because Daughter could have left without introducing you to them. Some defiant adult children would not hsve done this. At least you know it is truly legit.</p><p></p><p>I could be way off, but I am wondering if part of your issue is you see them all as still young children who cant thrive without you. Or maybe you feel a need to keep them at home so that you can still be a mommy figure to them. But that is not healthy for them. Or you.</p><p></p><p>Its time in my opinion that you have this time away from one another. Your 17 is almost an adult too. We only have our children for a short time. Thats why we need lives apart from them. This is a good time to start focusing in on your other interests and finding new ones. Nothing turns off even nice grown kids like a clingy mother who tries to still run their adult childs life. That will chase even the best of our adult children away!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712826, member: 1550"] Your two are NOT children. It is bad for your sanity to even call them children. They are legal adults. Others see especially the 22 year old as an adult. If she has botderline, she wont be nice. It is not smart to expect her to be nice. You may want to read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi krieger. It is about how to best communicate with somebody who is borderline. There is nothing unusual however for adult children to leave home forever. Its the norm. They may have not delivered the news kindly, but maybe they were afraid you would overreact and flip out. Or try to talk them out of if. But they HAVE to leave eventually. All your kids will. You are not going to all live under one roof, including their spouses and children. We dont do that in our culture. Stop thinking of 22 as a kid. Thats when we get into trouble. We have different expectations of children than adults. See her tall, with a deeper voice, breasts and a young womans face. Your 18 is still young, but a legal adult and able to vote, join the military and make his own decisions. You are lucky that you met the Chinese family because Daughter could have left without introducing you to them. Some defiant adult children would not hsve done this. At least you know it is truly legit. I could be way off, but I am wondering if part of your issue is you see them all as still young children who cant thrive without you. Or maybe you feel a need to keep them at home so that you can still be a mommy figure to them. But that is not healthy for them. Or you. Its time in my opinion that you have this time away from one another. Your 17 is almost an adult too. We only have our children for a short time. Thats why we need lives apart from them. This is a good time to start focusing in on your other interests and finding new ones. Nothing turns off even nice grown kids like a clingy mother who tries to still run their adult childs life. That will chase even the best of our adult children away! [/QUOTE]
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