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Parent Emeritus
Despite issues...why don't they understand the law?
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 638512" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I think difficult children just have an even worse time than the "average" teen/young adult at connecting actions with consequences. It seems to take them even longer to figure it all out (if they ever do at all). It helped me when my girls were teens to understand that their brain really didn't have the capability of reasoning, not the way adults do, anyway. Not as an excuse for their behavior, just as an additional "cause." Their mental illness made this even more difficult - maybe their brains take even longer to develop? Once I stopped expecting them to think like me (i.e., stopped thinking "I would NEVER do that?! Why does SHE not get it?") I was a lot less stressed and it was easier to detach.</p><p></p><p>Of course, in theory my girls' brains are now fully developed, and some of the old difficult child "magical thinking" is still there once in a while. It's a heck of a lot better than it was at 18, though.</p><p></p><p>Here's one of many articles on the brain development thing ... that's what I meant by some PCs not getting it, either. Of course there are many PCs that DO get it .. but I have many friends whose kids are/were not mentally ill/difficult children, and still made really stupid mistakes/decisions. Umm I made a few myself as a teen/young adult ;-)</p><p></p><p><a href="http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2012/03/15/your-teens-brain-driving-without-the-brakes/" target="_blank">http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2012/03/15/your-teens-brain-driving-without-the-brakes/</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 638512, member: 1157"] I think difficult children just have an even worse time than the "average" teen/young adult at connecting actions with consequences. It seems to take them even longer to figure it all out (if they ever do at all). It helped me when my girls were teens to understand that their brain really didn't have the capability of reasoning, not the way adults do, anyway. Not as an excuse for their behavior, just as an additional "cause." Their mental illness made this even more difficult - maybe their brains take even longer to develop? Once I stopped expecting them to think like me (i.e., stopped thinking "I would NEVER do that?! Why does SHE not get it?") I was a lot less stressed and it was easier to detach. Of course, in theory my girls' brains are now fully developed, and some of the old difficult child "magical thinking" is still there once in a while. It's a heck of a lot better than it was at 18, though. Here's one of many articles on the brain development thing ... that's what I meant by some PCs not getting it, either. Of course there are many PCs that DO get it .. but I have many friends whose kids are/were not mentally ill/difficult children, and still made really stupid mistakes/decisions. Umm I made a few myself as a teen/young adult ;-) [url]http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2012/03/15/your-teens-brain-driving-without-the-brakes/[/url] [/QUOTE]
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Despite issues...why don't they understand the law?
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