Destructive difficult children with Glasses!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Christy, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. Christy

    Christy New Member


    I am so tired of broken glasses!

    difficult child just turned 10. He started wearing glasses at age five. We have twenty pairs of broken glasses! No this is not a math word problem, it's just a vent. I am so sick of repairing and replacing glasses. difficult child's thing at school is to smash his glasses when he gets upset, or to bend and twist them in a rage. He has stress balls, a pillow and other more appropriate things to beat up on at his desk when he feels like this but evidently none of those things are as satisfying as destroying his glasses. The school does try to take his glasses from him as soon as they see that he is upset but is not always proactive enough as this can happen instantly. I buy the flexible frames the ones that aren't supposed to break-HAAA!

    This school year, he lost them on the second day. They never turned up so I had them replaced. He wore them for two days, got upset with the teacher because she took his paper airplane away and he crushed his glasses I think that they can be fixed but what is the point?

    He has an astigmatism and is far-sighted. He can see without glasses but has difficulty reading without them.

    Anyone else dealing with this? I feel terrible sending him to school without glasses but he can't be trusted with them. I have him do chores to earn the money to repair them but this does not seem to have have an impact. They are in close reach and he is not thinking clearly when he does this.

    Do I give up on the glassses at school and keep them at home for homework purposes? Do I send his to school in prescription swim goggles, LOL. He could probably find a way to break those too! I know he counldn't handle contact lenses at this point.

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, I found a way to solve this problem with my son but no one liked the solution- until it worked. I didn't replace a pair of glasses for a while. He had to live without them. Teachers were po'd at me and wanted me to punish him and replace the glasses (for the 50th time) so they wouldn't have to deal with difficult child having to move seats to see all the time. Nope- it took about 3 weeks and then difficult child came to me and said "Momma, I CAN NOT SEE. Would you PLEASE get me a pair of glasses" That wasn't yelling, it was in a desparate almost tearful and pleaful voice. Then, I got him a pair of glasses and we haven't had a problem since!!

    Natural consequences work wonders for my difficult child- if the school doesn't decide it's neglect first!

    Another thought- have him do chores to earn the money to pay for the glasses- before he gets them replaced. But really, not being able to see well did it for my son. He always knows where his glasses are now and gets upset if something accidentally happens.
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2008
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I go with KLMNO, my difficult child is supposed to wear glasses. He will either lose them, thow them away, or break them. He will not wear them. So I won't buy them. If he wore them then I would. He has never asked for them, so I don't think he needs them too badly, and he still sees the eye doctor every year and the eye doctor is aware of the situation and never says a word. My difficult child has also been through vision therapy, and that actually helped him quite a bit. Expensive, not covered through insurance, but for him it was worth it.

    You could keep them at home for homework, but I don't think I would send them to school, if that is where he breaks them.
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I think I'd be talking to his doctor about contacts. Or give up the prescription lenses and get dollar store reading glasses for home and school until he can handle it better.

    I just saw this article about discount glasses:
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Unfortunately, when you have astigmatism, the dollar store reading glasses don't work all that well.
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I can't see something 10 inches from my face with-o glasses, and have terrible astigmatism, so I must always have glasses. I can't say the cheap glasses aer perfect, and they don't have a warranty usually. So for the kids I get the ones from eyemasters, but for me I spend $50 or so and get a pair that will last a year or so.

    Wiz needed them so badly by the time he quit blowing off the eye exams (he was just saying something to get out of the exam sooner, and our eye doctor is a mom of a difficult child, so she knew it, so she didn't rx glasses at first because she wasn't getting an accurate reading of what he needed - because he was being a jerk) and cooperated with the eye doctor, that he hasn't damaged a single pair on purpose. Of course, headaches every day to the point he was barfing until he got his glasses DOES play a role. And being told that after the first replacement he would ahve to pay for gas to go the 1 1/2 hours to the eye place and back also played a role. Cause if it is going to cost HIM $$ it better not be for something that is a necessity and not one of his luxuries.

    He is now in contacts, as is Jessie. They both are surprisingly good with the hygeine and take good care of them.

    contacts for astigmatism are expensive and not always comfortable. But they may be cheaper than replacing glasses frequently. They do have monthly replacement contacts for astigmatism, if yuo think that is worth a shot. OUr vision insurance (NOT great) covers 6 months worth of contacts for each of us. We pay the ohter 6 months, but it is pretty easy to find a good price online once you ahve the fitting done and are sure of the rx.

    I am sorry. This is such a frustrating situation.

  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member
  9. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Thanks everyone for the eyeglass links!
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I bought my first pair of glasses from zenni about 3 years ago. They lasted over 2 years and I wear them constantly. I got another set recently. I also got a pair online and I like them too. Both companies send a free microfiber cleaning cloth with them.