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Detaching but not understanding?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 47858"><p>Don't know if this applies directly. I am having a difficult time detatching from difficult child and easy child. easy child just doesn't get the financial aspects of life and I just cannot help him out anymore. </p><p>When easy child's was born, his bio father was an alcoholic. I was always there to bring him home when the phone rang. Bail him out, meet him at the hospital. Then he started to ask me to cover for him regarding a hit and run. That is when I went for help. That lady gave me the truest advice I ever received. It was hard to do. She said "let him go. He has to hit that brick wall, HE has to get up on his own. When HE cannot get up on his own...HE will get help?. I let him crash right into that wall. I no longer bailed him out. I no longer would bring easy child to visit him. I would NOT cover for him. It took about a year and he went into an inpatient drug and alcohol recovery program. then a half-way house. it was nice. We never married, He went on his way, met another that would pick him up, bail him out and cover for him. i think his permanant address is county jail.</p><p>Don't know if this makes sense. i loved him. he was my son's father. I wanted to make it work. But easy child was just to important. If he couldn't do it for us. HE had to DO it for HIM. He lost. He never got to see his son walk, or talk, or up on stage performing. He chose his life and i couldn't help. I tried, I really did. But it is that brick wall that they must hit, with nobody there to pick them up. </p><p>I am sorry. your heart must be breaking. But difficult child is young. Some times the hardest lessons take the longest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 47858"] Don't know if this applies directly. I am having a difficult time detatching from difficult child and easy child. easy child just doesn't get the financial aspects of life and I just cannot help him out anymore. When easy child's was born, his bio father was an alcoholic. I was always there to bring him home when the phone rang. Bail him out, meet him at the hospital. Then he started to ask me to cover for him regarding a hit and run. That is when I went for help. That lady gave me the truest advice I ever received. It was hard to do. She said "let him go. He has to hit that brick wall, HE has to get up on his own. When HE cannot get up on his own...HE will get help?. I let him crash right into that wall. I no longer bailed him out. I no longer would bring easy child to visit him. I would NOT cover for him. It took about a year and he went into an inpatient drug and alcohol recovery program. then a half-way house. it was nice. We never married, He went on his way, met another that would pick him up, bail him out and cover for him. i think his permanant address is county jail. Don't know if this makes sense. i loved him. he was my son's father. I wanted to make it work. But easy child was just to important. If he couldn't do it for us. HE had to DO it for HIM. He lost. He never got to see his son walk, or talk, or up on stage performing. He chose his life and i couldn't help. I tried, I really did. But it is that brick wall that they must hit, with nobody there to pick them up. I am sorry. your heart must be breaking. But difficult child is young. Some times the hardest lessons take the longest. [/QUOTE]
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