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Substance Abuse
Detaching "WITH LOVE"?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 628788" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Stress....that is quite a list and I can certainly understand how he is not loveable right now. I don't think for now you have to have the "with love" as part of the detachment process. He is mentally ill, it is difficult to love someone when they go out of their way to hurt everyone in their path, especially those closest to them. There was a time when I did not like, respect or have any good feelings towards my difficult child. I hate to admit this but I even had some very negative feelings towards her. My emotions were so close to the surface that I couldn't hide them. It took time and distance to put the love in there. Think about people whose loved ones commit crimes. They often somehow still love them and hope they change. And that's the best we can do at times.</p><p></p><p>I adopted my daughter also so I understand some of the hidden character traits that are working here. There was a time when I thought my difficult child was a sociopath because she had no conscience and did everything she could to prove she hated us. She just turned 23 and yesterday she wrote in her dad's Father's Day card that she would spend the rest of her life trying to repay him for the support he's given her. There is hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 628788, member: 59"] Stress....that is quite a list and I can certainly understand how he is not loveable right now. I don't think for now you have to have the "with love" as part of the detachment process. He is mentally ill, it is difficult to love someone when they go out of their way to hurt everyone in their path, especially those closest to them. There was a time when I did not like, respect or have any good feelings towards my difficult child. I hate to admit this but I even had some very negative feelings towards her. My emotions were so close to the surface that I couldn't hide them. It took time and distance to put the love in there. Think about people whose loved ones commit crimes. They often somehow still love them and hope they change. And that's the best we can do at times. I adopted my daughter also so I understand some of the hidden character traits that are working here. There was a time when I thought my difficult child was a sociopath because she had no conscience and did everything she could to prove she hated us. She just turned 23 and yesterday she wrote in her dad's Father's Day card that she would spend the rest of her life trying to repay him for the support he's given her. There is hope. [/QUOTE]
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Detaching "WITH LOVE"?
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