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Substance Abuse
Detachment - I am getting better at it.....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 630518" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Actually since he has been in jail I do feel we have slowly been buildling more of a relationship. He calls us more and sometimes just to talk without asking us for anything. He has shared more about what is going on for him and that has been positive. So no it is not the kind of relationship I have or would have with anyone else but I cant say it is no relationship because it is something.</p><p></p><p>However what he doesnt realize is that I am way past the point where I care about threats of not having a relationship with me or future grandchildren (he has used that on me in the past). If he chooses to cut off all contact then so be it. That is his choice.</p><p></p><p>I am a bit worried about Tuesday. I really do not want to drive him if it is going to be him badgering me all the way to buy him cigarettes. So this morning I sat down and wrote him a letter telling him that. </p><p></p><p>I really dont know if I will ever have what I consider a good close healthy mutual relationship with my son... which is what I think you are calling a relationship. I dont know if it is possible really given what I think are his personality issues. However maybe it is if he is truly clean and sober and leading a responsible life.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime I will continue to love him but keep some emotional detachment going. I really have come a long way and it is somewhat amusing to watch him try to use his old methods of manipulation. They just dont work anymore.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 630518, member: 15801"] Actually since he has been in jail I do feel we have slowly been buildling more of a relationship. He calls us more and sometimes just to talk without asking us for anything. He has shared more about what is going on for him and that has been positive. So no it is not the kind of relationship I have or would have with anyone else but I cant say it is no relationship because it is something. However what he doesnt realize is that I am way past the point where I care about threats of not having a relationship with me or future grandchildren (he has used that on me in the past). If he chooses to cut off all contact then so be it. That is his choice. I am a bit worried about Tuesday. I really do not want to drive him if it is going to be him badgering me all the way to buy him cigarettes. So this morning I sat down and wrote him a letter telling him that. I really dont know if I will ever have what I consider a good close healthy mutual relationship with my son... which is what I think you are calling a relationship. I dont know if it is possible really given what I think are his personality issues. However maybe it is if he is truly clean and sober and leading a responsible life. In the meantime I will continue to love him but keep some emotional detachment going. I really have come a long way and it is somewhat amusing to watch him try to use his old methods of manipulation. They just dont work anymore. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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Detachment - I am getting better at it.....
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