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Substance Abuse
Detachment - I am getting better at it.....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 630679" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I remember going to a drug talk when my difficult child was in 8th grade and the guy said pot is not the gateway drug, cigarettes are! My heart sank at that moment because I knew (and had flipped out) that my son was smoking cigarettes.</p><p></p><p>I think often when people are in treatment the thought is that they are dealing with their serious addiction to drugs, and cigarettes are minor in comparison, the lesser evil, and dont make it even harder for them to battle the nicotine addiction right now. I get that logic, bought into it and bought cigarettes even though i never liked doing it.</p><p></p><p>But at this point my son has been through so much treatment my feeling is we have to back off further.... fact is giving him cigarettes never kept him in a program, never made him not screw up, did not prevent relapse. Maybe it kept him from doing it sooner, who konws, but in the end it didnt help. And I think my son needs to get the message that this is his fight, not ours and we need to stop trying to make it easier on him. Maybe it needs to be hard I dont know but I do know I dont feel good about giving them to him, and that is reason enough.</p><p></p><p>I havent heard from him since that phone call on Wed. That worries me because it means I am going to get an earful on our drive on Tuesday. I now wish I hadnt agreed to drive him. I am tempted to call them and say I can't..... but I was asked by the drug court person and so I feel I am backing out on them (who have worked hard to help my son), and bottom line I dont want to screw this up for him. So I am preparing myself to just tell him I am not discussing it anymore, the answer is no. And if we go the whole way in silence so be it.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I need to tell him this before we get in the car!!!</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 630679, member: 15801"] I remember going to a drug talk when my difficult child was in 8th grade and the guy said pot is not the gateway drug, cigarettes are! My heart sank at that moment because I knew (and had flipped out) that my son was smoking cigarettes. I think often when people are in treatment the thought is that they are dealing with their serious addiction to drugs, and cigarettes are minor in comparison, the lesser evil, and dont make it even harder for them to battle the nicotine addiction right now. I get that logic, bought into it and bought cigarettes even though i never liked doing it. But at this point my son has been through so much treatment my feeling is we have to back off further.... fact is giving him cigarettes never kept him in a program, never made him not screw up, did not prevent relapse. Maybe it kept him from doing it sooner, who konws, but in the end it didnt help. And I think my son needs to get the message that this is his fight, not ours and we need to stop trying to make it easier on him. Maybe it needs to be hard I dont know but I do know I dont feel good about giving them to him, and that is reason enough. I havent heard from him since that phone call on Wed. That worries me because it means I am going to get an earful on our drive on Tuesday. I now wish I hadnt agreed to drive him. I am tempted to call them and say I can't..... but I was asked by the drug court person and so I feel I am backing out on them (who have worked hard to help my son), and bottom line I dont want to screw this up for him. So I am preparing myself to just tell him I am not discussing it anymore, the answer is no. And if we go the whole way in silence so be it. Maybe I need to tell him this before we get in the car!!! TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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Detachment - I am getting better at it.....
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