first post here - my 20 yr old son was the sweetest and lovingest kid until he hit adolescence. never serious alocohol or drug usage - just experimental occasionally. he has always been fascinated by police, military and now just the guns. not a hunter. barely got his HS diploma. moves from one marginal job to another. dates a goth bi-polar drama girl who currently has a restraining order on him. this kid was overindulged with love and material goods - and inconsistent parenting guidelines. I lean a bit toward the strict side especially with adult lying and stealing. my wife ever accommodating and generous before and after all the lying and stealing thru teen years and still going in. He seems only to REALLY care about his classic car, girlfriend and guns. When he gets "depressed" or sad, he needs to buy toys. since he is underemployed his M.O. is to sneak into the house, steal Mom's c card and order stuff on line which we eventually catch him at. he usually confesses (with no remorse) when we check the statements. more embarrassed. he wont really talk. and after 5-6 mo. of "OK" behavior and letting our guard down, we find we have been had again. he knows not to steal my card because i would totally call the police and have him charged, whereas mom just accepts his silent admission (no apology really). I think the kid is may have some adhd issues although never diagnosed. other psyche issues too no doubt but he won't get into any counseling. we had an alarm system installed but he sneaks in when just my daughter is home or even sneaks into my wife's purse when visiting. so now i don't want him on the property at all and told him i won't try having a relationship with him anymore until a few years when he possibly grows up or changes. Honestly, he seems stupid and is just silent when I try to persuade him to be honest and to change, because that has worked in the past. my wife and i are near divorce for a number of reasons including my resentment of her over-coddling and enabling. i think he seems doomed and that we will be financial supporting him and putting up with his dishonesty until the day we die. i don't care to be part of that scenario. i found this site by trying to subject him to some type of diagnosis. "Conduct disorder" seems to work. thank god he is not too active if at all with drugs and just a few beers here and there. any insights or thoughts? i am over simplifying the scenario but i am open to all ideas and criticisms. thx.