on the bright side. Of late, things have hit our family ~ seemingly one thing after another. Home repairs we can't afford, car repairs, health issues, tweedle issues, etc. My health has been in a bit of a decline driving me up a wall & driving husband into somewhat of a depression. The economy is a worry; I can't control that. My health is a worry ~ other than following dr's orders I can't control that either. husband will have to handle his depression issues ~ I can support him & encourage him to go to the doctor for a refill on his medications; if he chooses not to do it, I cannot control that either. kt & wm's upcoming IEP's - very little control of the SD since they have both hit the high school level. I have a very competent team handling the tweedles & their issues. Currently, both sides are brushing up on the treatment plans & such as I can no longer manage it. Saying that, I can do my best to address the issues I can & let go of what isn't going to happen anyhow. I've been up for the past several nights ~ mostly thinking over the past year. At first I was angry, very angry - stomping about the house & accomplishing nothing but adding to the pain I was already feeling. Next I went onto researching anything & everything that might have been missed. I doubt that anything has been missed & I once again acknowledged I have an exceptional medical team. I got into a hissy fit over the length of time it's taking to recover & the fact that no doctor is even talking recovery anymore. It's maintenance now. Than I got into a hissy fit over the word maintenance - what kind of word is that? If a doctor is going to tell you that you are in a remission & need to work on maintenance it should be a more pleasant word. How can I make it sound more musical - a bit more "artistic"? I finally decided this is the way it is ~ it may get better; it may not. Life is life ~ good, bad or indifferent. It's my reaction that needs to change. I think I'm over my tantrum.....I may have a few more. You may hear about them, you may not. I have positives; kt & wm's smiles. husband's support & "seemingly" strong job in this economy (thank goodness). We have a roof over our heads & food on the table. The food may include more mac & cheese & hamburger than in the past, but it's food. I have my coffee! , my painting , my piano (still iffy) to keep me occupied on those days I'm not sleeping. I now have a safe way to get out of the house - to take walks with my PT, my husband & my ktbug. It may only be half a block but that's more than I did a year ago. Thanks for letting me ramble ~ I hope this didn't sound like a big old whine. It wasn't intended that way. Just thinking out loud to my favorite people.