So...I'm not really new and in a few more words you'll know who I really am...but I am using a different user name since my son has snooped and I figure if I post under a different name - should he snoop again - he won't see the name or avatar and therefore likely won't read. This is Lil. If he does read...so be it. (Hi son!) I'm not saying anything untrue, just seems a little more freeing to make his reading less likely. So...developments. I posted on another thread that son and I had a MAJOR fight on Saturday when he was going to no-call/no-show at work, I guess I nagged a bit, then actually tried to just leave it be and have him get ready...which he wouldn't do, he kept screaming at me, etc., and finally he head-butted the door and put a hole in it - the door that he broke over and over and we finally replaced when he was gone - at which point I just lost it completely myself - which ended with me screaming at him that I wanted him OUT of my house. He threatened to jump out the window (which probably wouldn't kill anyone, but might put you in a hospital), I threatened the psychiatric ward, he threatened to chew thru his wrists...and Jabber broke it up. Thank God. Bottom line, we set a deadline. I told him he needed to be out in 4 weeks - or the end of October at the very latest. He had $900...that was plenty of time for him for him to get his electric bill he owes paid off and still have more than enough for deposits. We actually gave him $50 of his money to just leave and disappear for a day or two and then Jabber fed me, calmed me down, and we took money we've been squirreling away since January and went to a [place for grown-ups to pay games - apparently the C word is banned] (where I came home $27 richer...that's a lot when you don't bet over $5 a hand). Two days later son asks me for his $850. A guy he knows (he lived with him once before when they were both renting rooms from the same person) is also looking to move to a place of his own (with girlfriend and toddler) and they found a trailer for $400/mo. Okay - if my son only pays 1/2 that's $200. If he pays 1/3, that's $133. Of course, it's 3 1/5 miles from where my son works and he'll be dependent on the roommate for rides when the bus doesn't run, every evening and weekend...I foresee all kinds of problems there. I found a nice one-bedroom 1 mile from his work for $325 a month - but he wouldn't even consider it. I mentioned there were 2 bedroom apartments in the same area - walking distance to work - for around $400, but no...the trailer is "better". Okay then. What's done is done. He's all grown up and 21 and I can't tell him what to do. The mom and the lawyer in me just KNOW this is not the best alternative. I see him losing his job - which in 2 1/2 months he's gone from loving to hating anyway - because of problems with rides. I see the roommates not paying their share and son not being able to pay it all himself. Roommates, especially ones you don't know well, are asking for problems - but son won't even consider a single. I don't know why he's so terrified of living alone, but he hates the very thought of it. He's an ONLY CHILD. Jabber and I didn't coddle him and keep him under our wings constantly. All he does is hide in his room when he's home - you'd think he'd be USED to the idea of living alone! So...I haven't actually seen him, but he says (via text) papers are signed and money paid. This is happening, he's sharing a mobile home with A and his girl and baby. I'm trying, I really am, to not stick my nose in it. The lawyer in me is in full-on panic mode. "You have an agreement to live with someone you barely know and nothing in writing? Who's on the lease? What utilities are there? Who's paying the bills? How are you splitting them? Are you paying 1/2 when there's two of them + toddler? What remedy do you have if they just don't pay? How are you organizing food storage? Are you sharing or buying your own?" And on and on and on...keeping my mouth shut is going to be rough! Moving out was (past) due. I expected he'd be out in about 10 weeks...that was what we said when he moved in...and it's been 9 weeks...so he should be. He's not really lived up to what we agreed to. He was supposed to keep his room clean and dishes done (he won't use soap! - we end up re-washing). He was supposed to help out around the house (he's taken the trash out 2-3 times). He was supposed to pay his bills (student loan and electric in collection) and see his therapist. The ONLY thing he's done was to give us $100/wk to hold for him. I was still giving him rides. He wasn't budgeting his other $100/wk, he was blowing it in 2-3 days and then broke. He didn't get his own food. He didn't get his own soda. Heck, I'd loan him $ for smokes - which he paid back occasionally. He was too comfortable. I want him happy. I want him independent. But he needs to live elsewhere. While he's in my home he's MY KID. His job is my business. Whether he goes to work or not is MY business! HIS life is MY business. Needless to say, he does NOT like that! But I can't stop obsessing with all that could go wrong with this. I hope it doesn't - help me stop worrying! Incidentally - he still has his job. He was given a no-call/no-show (though he called, because they called him first) but apparently they give you one or two of them before they fire you. Nice job. Most give you exactly none! I asked what the policy was on that. He didn't know.