Dhs visit with difficult child

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jan 25, 2013.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Hi all,

    Well husband was out in CA on a business trip and so got to spend an hour with difficult child at the treatment center. It was a good visit and it sounds like they really talked. My husband is not a big talker so that in itself is amazing. Anyway difficult child looks really good according to husband and he sent me a picture. :) difficult child says he is following all the rules and will continue to do so (although there is some indication that this is not absolutely true). He also told husband that he has exaggerated his drug use to avoid conseqences (like what?) and to fit in. I can believe about the fitting in part. However of course that is not why we think he has a substance abuse problem.... it has created a lot of consequences for him like getting kicked out of sober house after sober house. Anyway difficult child still thinks he can drink and smoke pot moderately which of course is very worrisome, although I think fairly typical. He did tell husband that he wouldnt do it though while he was in a sober house (which would be progress).

    One of the good things is difficult child said he wants to see me... and I am hoping to make a visit out there soon. I want to go visit my Dad (who is 95) who is in Northern CA so a visit to them both makes sense. I realized I would really like to see difficult child when he is doing well before he screws up again.... hopefully one day I wont be waiting for that other shoe to drop.

    Anyway I had a really good sleep last night.... I Tis so nice to know he is safe and at least getting help.

  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi there TL,

    I am so relieved that your son is in a treatment facility again. Oh, I so hope it works this time.

    Good deal about husband getting to see difficult child and even send you a picture!!! I am sure you did sleep well last night.
    Would be wonderful for you to visit your dad and difficult child soon...looking forward to that update!

    Enjoy this day!
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I can imagine the peace that you are feeling right now....please enjoy every moment...
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great news TL, enjoy your peace!
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I understand about wanting to see him while he is doing well. It does feel good to see them that way if only for a brief time.

    I too find it worrisome that he thinks he can still use recreationally. Hopefully aofew more weeks in program will teach him otherwise. In the meantime enjoy your peaceful nights! -RM
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a relief, he is off the streets and in a teatment facility. I'm glad your husband got a chance to see him and verify he looks good and that you will be able to visit with him soon. Even better that he asked for you.

    We collectively keep our fingers crossed that the program he is in gives him what he needs to choose a different path for himself.

    So glad you got a good night's sleep finally.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I just talked to my friend out there who runs the sober house difficult child will probably go to... and who himself is a recovering heroin addict. His comment was people who do not have substance abuse problems do not need to reassure us that they can use moderately!!! So true! He also said now he really knows what being on the streets is like and he will know that is where he will end up if he uses again. So he thinks he is right where he shoudl be. He also nicely and gently told me that I need to get the thinking and language out of me that is waiting for him to screw up again. So true and so hard to do. I am going to try and go see difficult child myself in the beginning of March.

  8. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Wow, interesting that he said to get that "language" out of you. I think we are all so affraid
    of hope we just wait for the other shoe. It isnt helpful to think that way.....yet .... its scary
    to have hope.

    I think it is good to go see him when things are good.

    I totally understand the thing about pot and drinking. My difficult child has never stopped the koi
    about pot.....she even tries to tell me about research that says its good! She sees no differece
    between pot and medications. given by a psychiatric.
    Im glad for your reprieve and sleep!