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Did I do more harm than good?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 56446" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It is a tough call for you but I do think you made the right decision. I do understand about the "too many kids" thing, but we have that problem because we have four kids. For a lot of family things, rather than dump ourselves on family we would book accommodation nearby. This also meant we had somewhere private to take the kids to when either they got too difficult, or they got too tired and needed to be given a break from family.</p><p></p><p>About your PCs needing some sort of space away from difficult children - we have something here, it might be worth you making some discreet enquiries. In Sydney we have the head office for Carers NSW, which is a non-profit organisation which works to support people who care for someone with a disability. In the last eleven years they have realised that they have to also include as carers, those children who help care for a family member with a disability. Initially they only considered kids who help care for a disabled adult (which let my kids in, especially easy child, because of my own disability). They hold holiday camps for these kids, so they can go and have fun, enjoying just being a kid and doing the stuff they often don't get to do because of family budgets or lack of a healthy adult to do fun family stuff with. Abseiling, rock climbing, canoeing - that sort of thing. It's also where easy child met BF1, as well as where easy child 2/difficult child 2 met BF2.</p><p>About eight years ago they expanded the criteria to include children who help care for a sibling with a disability, which is a doubly whammy for us. They also include siblings with a disability who still play some level of caring role - it can get very complex.</p><p>Although these camps are very much about the kids having fun, there is also a component of therapy and counselling, where the kids spend some time sharing their experiences and talking about how they feel, in an environment where there are other kids who understand. They also try to provide the kids with coping strategies.</p><p>The place to look for a service like this is any organisation with a caring role - ask them. Our network started up as simply. Many service clubs will volunteer time, accommodation, other services to these kids and the cost has always been minimal or zero. We always found our kids would come home from camp more relaxed, less resentful and recharged. They also would keep in touch with other kids from camp so the support network would continue.</p><p></p><p>To find out, you could ask your local Rotary clubs if they've heard of anything like this. I know a lot of Rotary clubs in Australia have got involved. There is a lot of info on the internet about them too.</p><p></p><p>Who knows? Maybe just by asking, you could start the ball rolling that could provide a valuable service to many more children.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with your kids in the holidays and good on you for making it clear to your father that playing favourites is not the way to improve problem behaviours.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 56446, member: 1991"] It is a tough call for you but I do think you made the right decision. I do understand about the "too many kids" thing, but we have that problem because we have four kids. For a lot of family things, rather than dump ourselves on family we would book accommodation nearby. This also meant we had somewhere private to take the kids to when either they got too difficult, or they got too tired and needed to be given a break from family. About your PCs needing some sort of space away from difficult children - we have something here, it might be worth you making some discreet enquiries. In Sydney we have the head office for Carers NSW, which is a non-profit organisation which works to support people who care for someone with a disability. In the last eleven years they have realised that they have to also include as carers, those children who help care for a family member with a disability. Initially they only considered kids who help care for a disabled adult (which let my kids in, especially easy child, because of my own disability). They hold holiday camps for these kids, so they can go and have fun, enjoying just being a kid and doing the stuff they often don't get to do because of family budgets or lack of a healthy adult to do fun family stuff with. Abseiling, rock climbing, canoeing - that sort of thing. It's also where easy child met BF1, as well as where easy child 2/difficult child 2 met BF2. About eight years ago they expanded the criteria to include children who help care for a sibling with a disability, which is a doubly whammy for us. They also include siblings with a disability who still play some level of caring role - it can get very complex. Although these camps are very much about the kids having fun, there is also a component of therapy and counselling, where the kids spend some time sharing their experiences and talking about how they feel, in an environment where there are other kids who understand. They also try to provide the kids with coping strategies. The place to look for a service like this is any organisation with a caring role - ask them. Our network started up as simply. Many service clubs will volunteer time, accommodation, other services to these kids and the cost has always been minimal or zero. We always found our kids would come home from camp more relaxed, less resentful and recharged. They also would keep in touch with other kids from camp so the support network would continue. To find out, you could ask your local Rotary clubs if they've heard of anything like this. I know a lot of Rotary clubs in Australia have got involved. There is a lot of info on the internet about them too. Who knows? Maybe just by asking, you could start the ball rolling that could provide a valuable service to many more children. Good luck with your kids in the holidays and good on you for making it clear to your father that playing favourites is not the way to improve problem behaviours. Marg [/QUOTE]
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