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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664755" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I cancelled the trip.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday I went to the Opthamologist. It was the worst of all experiences. 3 hours treated like a non person. </p><p></p><p>It turns out I have some problem with the lenses of my eyes, which will degenerate. Blurriness or cloudiness I think it is called. I sensed it but hardly wanted it confirmed. The doctor (I despised him and everything about the shoddy, inhumane and disorganized practice over which he presides) did not mention cataracts but I wonder if that is what it is. I wanted to get up and leave and to cut short the abuse of the situation. I kept telling myself I needed to get this over with to travel. So, at least at this point, I was still considering going.</p><p></p><p>And the worst of it, after my eyes were dilated I was shunted back to the waiting room and sitting next to me was the physician who attended my mother in the rehab hospital. </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, he instigated friendly conversation and I told him of his treating of my mother. All of the feelings came up, and the angst about decisions made, the feeding tube. The horrible power of the responsibility to decide death or not for my mother. The war with the doctors. The sense of gratitude for finding a compassionate doctor (not this man.) </p><p></p><p>I left there feeling completely feeble and finished. I called M and told him I cannot go cross country. I am barely surviving here. How can I do it? It is not realistic. There is no time to be ready. I do not want to go in such a crazy way, with no strength, no preparation. I cannot do it. Wait, he said, until I get home.</p><p></p><p>When he got home we talked. Then we'll wait until you feel strong enough. If it takes a month or two months more or longer, we'll wait. </p><p></p><p>But you said we needed to go in 10 days. That you would not go when it is cold already. Forget that. We will go when you can. We will do everything we need to do and when you are ready we will go.</p><p></p><p>I will wait until M is done with this job, and I will try again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664755, member: 18958"] I cancelled the trip. Yesterday I went to the Opthamologist. It was the worst of all experiences. 3 hours treated like a non person. It turns out I have some problem with the lenses of my eyes, which will degenerate. Blurriness or cloudiness I think it is called. I sensed it but hardly wanted it confirmed. The doctor (I despised him and everything about the shoddy, inhumane and disorganized practice over which he presides) did not mention cataracts but I wonder if that is what it is. I wanted to get up and leave and to cut short the abuse of the situation. I kept telling myself I needed to get this over with to travel. So, at least at this point, I was still considering going. And the worst of it, after my eyes were dilated I was shunted back to the waiting room and sitting next to me was the physician who attended my mother in the rehab hospital. Unfortunately, he instigated friendly conversation and I told him of his treating of my mother. All of the feelings came up, and the angst about decisions made, the feeding tube. The horrible power of the responsibility to decide death or not for my mother. The war with the doctors. The sense of gratitude for finding a compassionate doctor (not this man.) I left there feeling completely feeble and finished. I called M and told him I cannot go cross country. I am barely surviving here. How can I do it? It is not realistic. There is no time to be ready. I do not want to go in such a crazy way, with no strength, no preparation. I cannot do it. Wait, he said, until I get home. When he got home we talked. Then we'll wait until you feel strong enough. If it takes a month or two months more or longer, we'll wait. But you said we needed to go in 10 days. That you would not go when it is cold already. Forget that. We will go when you can. We will do everything we need to do and when you are ready we will go. I will wait until M is done with this job, and I will try again. [/QUOTE]
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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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