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Substance Abuse
Didn't want it to come to this, might be asking difficult child to leave
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 646375" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>The latest development is that daughter in law told difficult child that she doesn't want him around the kids while he is using, and unless he makes some dramatic changes he would have to leave. He said, OK then, he'll just leave. She was pretty upset about it yesterday and said he was telling her it was her fault he had to take heroin because she was such a terrible person, etc. He told her he feels "trapped." Later she told us that he said he needs a couple of weeks to get an apartment for himself. I told her that it's not surprising that he would try to blame his drug use on other people, and that she shouldn't think she had anything to do with it.</p><p></p><p>I'm in agreement, this is the time for daughter in law to become independent. I think she's resourceful enough, and is just a little nervous about the changes right now. We're definitely on board to help her and the grandkids, but staying holed up in our middle bedroom surrounded by piles of clothes, toys, etc. isn't a good long-term plan for them (or us). I think moving in with us was her last-ditch effort to salvage her marriage and to make a normal life for her and the kids, so I don't begrudge her that. When we all thought he was serious about quitting, it seemed like they were on track to be able to get a nice place to live, etc. but that's gone by the wayside. </p><p></p><p>It's surprising to me how things can change from one thing to another in a matter of days, or that when we know what's really going on, everything changes. I honestly can't figure out how or why difficult child was a seemingly loving husband, father, and son one day, and now he's ready to walk away from it all. I know these things happen all the time, but having never experienced this before, I'm bewildered. I guess there's no real explanation for it, probably.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 646375, member: 18099"] The latest development is that daughter in law told difficult child that she doesn't want him around the kids while he is using, and unless he makes some dramatic changes he would have to leave. He said, OK then, he'll just leave. She was pretty upset about it yesterday and said he was telling her it was her fault he had to take heroin because she was such a terrible person, etc. He told her he feels "trapped." Later she told us that he said he needs a couple of weeks to get an apartment for himself. I told her that it's not surprising that he would try to blame his drug use on other people, and that she shouldn't think she had anything to do with it. I'm in agreement, this is the time for daughter in law to become independent. I think she's resourceful enough, and is just a little nervous about the changes right now. We're definitely on board to help her and the grandkids, but staying holed up in our middle bedroom surrounded by piles of clothes, toys, etc. isn't a good long-term plan for them (or us). I think moving in with us was her last-ditch effort to salvage her marriage and to make a normal life for her and the kids, so I don't begrudge her that. When we all thought he was serious about quitting, it seemed like they were on track to be able to get a nice place to live, etc. but that's gone by the wayside. It's surprising to me how things can change from one thing to another in a matter of days, or that when we know what's really going on, everything changes. I honestly can't figure out how or why difficult child was a seemingly loving husband, father, and son one day, and now he's ready to walk away from it all. I know these things happen all the time, but having never experienced this before, I'm bewildered. I guess there's no real explanation for it, probably. [/QUOTE]
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