Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child 1 and Christmas
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640448" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have an ex-son. I call him an ex-son because I haven't heard from him in so long that I can no longer think of him as my son anymore. Going on eight years or so. At the beginning I sent cards and a gift certificate. After three years of his not contacting me, I sent a card. Two years ago I stop even sending a card since he never sent me one. My son has created a false sense of his childhood that never existed. The things he says happened did not happen. He WAS adopted at age six from an orphanage in another country so I'm sure that has something to do with this, so I cut him more slack than I'd have cut a child who had come to us as an infant and always lived with us. But nothing improved, no matter what I tried. His wife is controlling him now and he is letting her. He has two children I have never met. At this point I feel that, it is pretty useless for me to keep trying. I'm not feeling "it" right now. I still love him in my heart, but it's been so long that he is more like somebody I raised for a while before he took off forever.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I think if we try too hard they lose even more respect for us and develop even more delusions about us. I would definitely send a card. I would not send a gift. I would get into therapy with husband too so you can confront her in a united way. I would be very hurt if I were still married to my ex and my son told him horrible stuff about me and he didn't tell my son to either respect me as well as him or contact him when he was ready to do so. I don't know if this is an issue between you two or not, but I just wondered.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you have to go through this. It is very painful. I needed lots of therapy to be able to deal with it. But it helped me a lot.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart and for having to make this sort of a terribly hard decision. To me, if you hate me so much, why is my money ok? Seems hypocritical so no money goes that direction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640448, member: 1550"] I have an ex-son. I call him an ex-son because I haven't heard from him in so long that I can no longer think of him as my son anymore. Going on eight years or so. At the beginning I sent cards and a gift certificate. After three years of his not contacting me, I sent a card. Two years ago I stop even sending a card since he never sent me one. My son has created a false sense of his childhood that never existed. The things he says happened did not happen. He WAS adopted at age six from an orphanage in another country so I'm sure that has something to do with this, so I cut him more slack than I'd have cut a child who had come to us as an infant and always lived with us. But nothing improved, no matter what I tried. His wife is controlling him now and he is letting her. He has two children I have never met. At this point I feel that, it is pretty useless for me to keep trying. I'm not feeling "it" right now. I still love him in my heart, but it's been so long that he is more like somebody I raised for a while before he took off forever. Sometimes I think if we try too hard they lose even more respect for us and develop even more delusions about us. I would definitely send a card. I would not send a gift. I would get into therapy with husband too so you can confront her in a united way. I would be very hurt if I were still married to my ex and my son told him horrible stuff about me and he didn't tell my son to either respect me as well as him or contact him when he was ready to do so. I don't know if this is an issue between you two or not, but I just wondered. I'm sorry you have to go through this. It is very painful. I needed lots of therapy to be able to deal with it. But it helped me a lot. Hugs for your hurting heart and for having to make this sort of a terribly hard decision. To me, if you hate me so much, why is my money ok? Seems hypocritical so no money goes that direction. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child 1 and Christmas
Top