difficult child 1 getting worse

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Liahona, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Guest


    My brain is fried.

    Last night easy child 1 said the family prayer and this was it "Dear God, everyone in my family loves me except difficult child 1. He wants to kill me. That would make Mommy sad."
    Today the autism specialist came and easy child 1 told her that difficult child 1 picked up the piano bench and was going to kill her with it.

    Also last night difficult child 1 told me (right after he got home from visitation) he was going to throw himself off a cliff. When I pointed out there were no cliffs in the house he said he was going to hurt himself with one of the knives in the kitchen. X makes threats of suicide in order to control others. difficult child 1 is now doing it, too. I got to write an e-mail to the school telling them what we do when difficult child 1 does this. I'm sure this teacher is going to think I'm nuts.

    No, he didn't have fun at visitation even though he went to a water park. He says he didn't have fun because he wanted to stay at X's house and play video games instead. I don't believe it. difficult child 1 also has a stomach ache. He only gets those when he is worried.

    The director of children's services for our state mental health program is battling the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to try to get them to call DCFS about difficult child 1 not wanting visitation and fear of X.

    Today I called difficult child 1's therapist and talked about how my supervision isn't enough anymore.

    There is a new psychiatrist and we're going to set up an appointment. His office is going to call me when he has a schedule. New as in he was just hired and he doesn't have appointment times set up yet. He started one of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s around here (there are 3 within spitting distance of me) and got bored with retirement. He is going to be working part time. At least a very experienced psychiatrist is good news.

    I'm so tired I'm not thinking straight. I was up way to late last night on the computer trying to not feel anything. Every time I got off I'd start crying. It took forever to get to sleep. Today there is a mountain of housework to do and homeschooling and all I can muster is staring off into space trying not to cry.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I wonder how any of us survive the "fried brain" "crying jag" issues. You have my sympathy and my sad understanding. You have alot on your plate but it sure sounds like you are taking as many forward steps as you can in hopes of resolving the problems. Sending hugs. DDD
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Ditto what DDD said. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances. What do you do for you? Do you have a therapist for yourself? It might be helpful. Many gentle, supportive {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} being sent your way!
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    :consoling: Wish there were something I could do or say to make it all better.

    How about some ((((HUGS)))) for you and easy child 1 over there? ((((HUGS))))
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. I know the feeling. Utter exhaustion and totally overwhelmed, with no end in sight. Every day it's something else.
    I hope you get some sleep tonight. Sleep helps everything. Even with-a difficult child. :sorrysmiley:
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Thanks guys. He is still stomping around saying everyone hates him, he is going to "dislocate" his head. He is not pleased with the level of supervision he is on. He even almost confessed saying he just moved the piano bench so he could type better and of course everything is easy child 1's fault. Its got to be better tomorrow. I'm raiding the only chocolate in the house: really cheap chocolate baking chips.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    been there done that.
    Except when difficult child has already beaten me to them... which, for a while there, was NOT unusual.
    Got so bad once that I felt like (never actually did, but...) baking brownies at 2AM just to get a chocolate fix.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Praying, praying, that cps gets involved ASAP. difficult child is not going to get better until the abuse is out of his life. And I know you will not feel peace until justice has been done. SO many hugs.........
  9. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Steely, the school was told there isn't enough to open a case yet. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) did not report what difficult child 1 said there and some one with more authority than me is trying to get them to report it. She is running into "its our policy" to not report what the kids say because they aren't reliable reporters. I'm thinking a call to the state office who does their licensing is in order next.

    You are right. I feel his behavior is 90% from X and 10% from poor impulse control.

    Its a new day. I'm ready to fight again.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member


    Like - THAT was settled, what, 20? 30? years ago? That used to be the argument for not being able to press charges for child rape... because the child was not a reliable witness. Ummmm... hello? wake up? law does NOT support this approach any more.

    Here's some armour polish for you... don that chain-mail, grab your sword, and hop on that high horse.
    They got NO idea what's commin... 'cause I don't think they've met a mad warrior mom yet, but they are gonna meet one soon...!
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The director of children's services should call DCFS herself.

    She needs to report her suspision that difficult child 1 is being abused by X. She also needs to report that he made an outcry to psychiatric hospital and they did not report it AS REQUIRED BY LAW.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Wow - what is this world coming to? I am just appalled.

    I reported a child that was being abused on the property where I was working, (they had employee housing where I worked) and they opened a case, but they wanted other people who had witnessed it. So the other employees who had also seen the abuse I asked to report it. One flat out refused, and another it took weeks to do it, and probably only because he and I were good friends and I nagged him to death until he actually did it.

    I just don't understand what rationale someone can have to not report it....but most of America is this way. It all about "me, me, me" .
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Steely - It ain't just America. Trust me.

    Sometimes? fear of back-lash. husband was almost the target of road rage. Then, this fellow who was really pushing husband's bumper... turned left, and... totalled an on-coming car. husband didn't DARE stop... because he knew the mindset of the driver. But, being the kind of people we are, husband called the non-emergency line to let the cops know he was a witness if they needed him. Got call back... they WILL be talking to him.

    So. We try and teach our kids... you DO have to protect yourself. But usually there are ways to do that, and STILL do your civic duty.
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2011