difficult child 1 stayed home sick by herself today and grandma is making it an issue.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Apr 25, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    The laws in our state say that a child can legally be left home alone at the age of twelve. difficult child 1 is 14. A couple of years ago I didn't feel comfortable with it. Now that she's at the age that she is, I feel much better about it. I have left her alone before but only for an hour or two. Today is the first day I let her spend the whole day by herself.

    I feel like she is perfectly competent to do so, but my mom is putting ideas in my head like the school may make it an issue. Since she is bipolar and lacks social skills she is afraid someone might call social services on me if they found out. difficult child knows all about safety. She knows to call 911 in case there's an emergency, she knows to keep the door locked and not to answer it, and she knows how to make her own lunch. Her social skills are fine with other kids, especially since she is a teenager and the hormones have kicked in.

    She is much more mature than she was a couple of years ago. Unfortunately her social skills are not that great with other adults. I personally don't see it as an issue with her staying home by herself, but my mom is putting ideas in my head. I am absolutely paranoid when it comes to CPS, especially since I have had to deal with them in the past. Do you think my mom is making a bigger deal out of it than it really is and I'm just being paranoid, or should I genuinely be concerned? I don't feel like it's an issue but maybe I'm wrong.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Each kid is different...

    Onyxx, for instance. She's better but I still do not trust her (PTSD?!)...

    Jett, only a year ago, would tell people we were not home. So - no more than a couple hours...

    It really depends.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    As far as CPS goes...
    Unless she were seriously developmentally delayed (think Downs, etc.)... she's FOURTEEN.
    If she were 12, gma might be able to pull your chain on this.
    She is 14. Two years past the cut-off.

    They would EXPECT her to be able to do this.
    It is up to you to DENY that, if you don't think she can handle it.

    Obviously, you felt good about your decision.
    I think your Mommy Gut is right.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Stick with your mom gut and turn off the outside influences!

    Does she want to watch difficult child next time? Oh! Better yet! Ask Grandma if all of you can move in with her when you loose your job due to taking off of work for all of the kids' absences.d

    If you think she's fine, then that's all that matters.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You have to start sometime, I let Q stay home for short things now too....and you know best. Not like she can't call you or you can't call her to check on her. If gma is that worried she can go over and check on her. I doubt school will do anything at her age.
  6. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well now difficult child says she is feeling better and wants to go back to school. Totally typical of her. She wants to see her friends and suddenly she is magically "all better." My mom will be picking her up and dropping her off. She is also going to bring her some lunch, which in my opinion is bs because we stuff for lunch in the house but she is choosing not to eat it. I would never cater to her like grandma does, but I guess that's what grandmas do...they spoil. I am hoping she doesn't say anything to anybody at school just in case they do make a big deal out of it. I don't think they will but you never know.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It shouldn't be an issue. We left difficult child home alone when he was sick last year. He was 13 (not sure what the laws are in our state-don't think there is one but we left easy child/difficult child home when she was sick at an even younger age).
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thanks, that's what I thought. I think I'm just being overly paranoid.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Cut yourself some slack. It is perfectly fine to leave her home alone at 14. there is no way CPS would bother with this one. Well, if she were locked in a room with no food or toilet or drink all day maybe they would. Food you don't like doesn't qualify as no food, and she is in the house, not locked in a room.

    in my opinion your mom is over-reacting. Even if CPS DID get involved, at 14 they cannot legally do anything about this.
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Leaving a sick kid home at the age of 14, regardless of their difficult child status, is perfectly fine. She knows what to do in case of an emergency, and if she needs to she knows how to get in touch with someone who can help her. Don't let your mom put ideas into your head.

    Seriously, I started leaving difficult child home at the age of 9! At first it was short things. 45 minutes to an hour at the most. He's not almost 13 and I have steadily left him for longer and longer periods of time. They have to get used to it sometime.