difficult child 1

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DenitaS, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    So, I talked to difficult child 1 today. She is still in jail and seems to be hanging in there. She says now they are saying 90 days in county jail and then Probation. However, she still has not been sentenced. This is just what she is picking up here and there. She is supposed to be calling tonight so I can find out more. (I was at work when she called)
    SO, husband still thinks we should allow her to come home when she is released. I am a little confused by this. For YEARS he has tried to get me to detach and to the point that I am at now. So, why is he going soft now???
    I don't want her to live here. AT ALL!! I am not second guessing myself or wondering if it is the right thing. She will be 18 when released and I feel like I have put in "my time"!! Is this wrong?? Has anyone else experienced this with their spouse?

    TIA!! Just needed some feedback here!
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    We've been through it over and over again for years now. The last time I made husband put him out. I told him that easy child and I would be moving out if he ever let difficult child move back in. This time---I'm the one softening. Not a lot---just a little. Don't know if it's my age or if my thyroid is out of whack again, but I must not be thinking straight because the thought of having to live with him again makes me want to scream.
  3. DenitaS

    DenitaS New Member

    I talked to her last night. She said again that she wanted to come home when released. I told her I loved her but had nothing more to give. That she put herself in this position and needed to figure it out. I also told her that we would be willing to pay for her 1st month in an apt but, that was it.
    She tried the guilt thing about her being my daughter and how can I say no. I told her she had it all handed to her and made her choices and would have to figure it out now! She wanted to know if she could get an apt in the town we live in and I told her it would do no good that our job ended here in June and we didnt' know where we were going next. So, that is where we are.
    I had a talk with husband last night and told him it wasn't easy for me to do this but, it was time. That we can't keep saving her. That she needs to grow up and figure it out now.
  4. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Good for you, Denita! I think you are on the right track here and I am impressed with how you handled the phone call. Stay strong!