goin_crazy
New Member
Hi, I am new here and haven't posted before. I have been lurking and seeing many of you in similar situations. I just need a friend or two. I made it through the work day without crying so that is a record for the last month, I think.
My 13yr old son has been giving us trouble since he was 8-ish but over the last year it has become unbearable and his problems at school elevated from minor to major. He has run away from school three times, got caught smoking at school once and got on campus suspension for three days, ran away from home once and was gone over night (found later after a total stranger brought him home), and lots of other smaller things. Oh, and he did tell a bunch of lies to the school counselor who turned us over to CPS without even checking on the home situation for emotional abuse and that we were fighting with each other (neither of which happened; the case was closed after 5 months because the caseworker saw quickly it was the child with the issues and not us and also had statements from the doctors - it only took that long because it was low priority to them and humiliating to us).
We have tried our best to teach him right from wrong but sometimes it seems like a switch is flipped and he's someone else. He knows what happened so I know it's not a dissociative disorder. His full psychiatric evaluation began last summer and was only recently completed because he was so depressed, according to the psychologist, that he really needed inpatient care and the testing wasn't going well.
In general, he doesn't seem to think school matters at all. He does his work when it suits him or doesn't interfere with anything else he wants to do, like his video games or some kind of computer programming with games he does. When he puts forth any effort, he makes straight A's. Otherwise, usually 0's unless the teacher forces him to complete it late and he gets a 70 that would have been 100. So he is passing everything. He does very well on the state testing that is required even though he doesn't care about it. Other than his video games, and occasionally having a friend over, he doesn't seem to care about anything.
He is taking Concerta 54mg, Lexipro 5mg, Abilify 7.5mg. I don't know if what is helping but his mood swings aren't quite as violent as they were. He breaks things, hurts his older sister, and sometimes hurts me but only if we get in his way.
Basically, as long as everyone walks on eggshells around him and never questions him, he is great. Otherwise, he is horrible and says everything he is thinking about all of us and does not care how hurtful he is. We have read parenting books, listened to the psychologist and psychiatrist and tried to do everything right but he still blows up if we cross him about anything, including homework, bathing, not hoarding food and trash in his room, going places with us, telling his friend it's time to leave when he has been there all weekend or all evening, and his number one thing is getting up and dressed in the mornings.
I just really need a friend. My husband doesn't want to hear it any more and I don't want to tell my coworkers everything because mostly they think he's spoiled and suggest miliary school. I'm exhausted. He is way too smart to do this to his life and I cannot get it across to him. Some of his testing came out at 12th grade 9th month and a few at 5th grade (the ones he blew off because he was mad about being there).
I am not so sure if he is really bipolar. He only does it if there's a trigger and I keep hearing on Doctor Radio that Bipolar kids don't have a trigger and it just happens for no reason. His social skills are horrible. He can be very loving and sweet and thoughtful to us when everything is going his way. He does not fit in at school. He does not have many friends. He seems to have no filters on what is ok to say or not say.
I still kind of think he's autistic. He is so much like me and my mother and I answered the Aspergers questions for me and it fit. My answers for my son did too but some were slightly different. All I take is prozac and it is for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest and kind of get the ball rolling here so maybe I could post and not just lurk.
Thanks to all of you who share here. It means a lot to more people than you know.
My 13yr old son has been giving us trouble since he was 8-ish but over the last year it has become unbearable and his problems at school elevated from minor to major. He has run away from school three times, got caught smoking at school once and got on campus suspension for three days, ran away from home once and was gone over night (found later after a total stranger brought him home), and lots of other smaller things. Oh, and he did tell a bunch of lies to the school counselor who turned us over to CPS without even checking on the home situation for emotional abuse and that we were fighting with each other (neither of which happened; the case was closed after 5 months because the caseworker saw quickly it was the child with the issues and not us and also had statements from the doctors - it only took that long because it was low priority to them and humiliating to us).
We have tried our best to teach him right from wrong but sometimes it seems like a switch is flipped and he's someone else. He knows what happened so I know it's not a dissociative disorder. His full psychiatric evaluation began last summer and was only recently completed because he was so depressed, according to the psychologist, that he really needed inpatient care and the testing wasn't going well.
In general, he doesn't seem to think school matters at all. He does his work when it suits him or doesn't interfere with anything else he wants to do, like his video games or some kind of computer programming with games he does. When he puts forth any effort, he makes straight A's. Otherwise, usually 0's unless the teacher forces him to complete it late and he gets a 70 that would have been 100. So he is passing everything. He does very well on the state testing that is required even though he doesn't care about it. Other than his video games, and occasionally having a friend over, he doesn't seem to care about anything.
He is taking Concerta 54mg, Lexipro 5mg, Abilify 7.5mg. I don't know if what is helping but his mood swings aren't quite as violent as they were. He breaks things, hurts his older sister, and sometimes hurts me but only if we get in his way.
Basically, as long as everyone walks on eggshells around him and never questions him, he is great. Otherwise, he is horrible and says everything he is thinking about all of us and does not care how hurtful he is. We have read parenting books, listened to the psychologist and psychiatrist and tried to do everything right but he still blows up if we cross him about anything, including homework, bathing, not hoarding food and trash in his room, going places with us, telling his friend it's time to leave when he has been there all weekend or all evening, and his number one thing is getting up and dressed in the mornings.
I just really need a friend. My husband doesn't want to hear it any more and I don't want to tell my coworkers everything because mostly they think he's spoiled and suggest miliary school. I'm exhausted. He is way too smart to do this to his life and I cannot get it across to him. Some of his testing came out at 12th grade 9th month and a few at 5th grade (the ones he blew off because he was mad about being there).
I am not so sure if he is really bipolar. He only does it if there's a trigger and I keep hearing on Doctor Radio that Bipolar kids don't have a trigger and it just happens for no reason. His social skills are horrible. He can be very loving and sweet and thoughtful to us when everything is going his way. He does not fit in at school. He does not have many friends. He seems to have no filters on what is ok to say or not say.
I still kind of think he's autistic. He is so much like me and my mother and I answered the Aspergers questions for me and it fit. My answers for my son did too but some were slightly different. All I take is prozac and it is for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest and kind of get the ball rolling here so maybe I could post and not just lurk.
Thanks to all of you who share here. It means a lot to more people than you know.
