difficult child 2 is in the wind and difficult child is devastated

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterby, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    difficult child 2 will be 18 in June.

    He stopped taking his medications a few months ago, saying he didn't need them, they didn't work (he never was on the right medications), he's not bipolar, some combination of the above depending on the minute. He's using, he's stealing, and he's probably selling.

    A week or two ago (no concept of time) he "moved out" and was staying with a friend. He didn't tell his mom he was moving out; he told his 14 year old brother. Friend's dad was helping difficult child 2 set up classes for his GED (even though he's still in high school...but he's just decided to quit even though you can't just quit, there are laws to follow...anyway...). difficult child 2 got angry and got into a fight with friend's dad, so difficult child 2 "moved out" again.

    This time no one knows where he is. He was supposed to meet with his PO yesterday - who is trying to get him off probation, but he's not helping - but didn't show. PO had to cancel. Only thing that saved him. He called his mom today and told her to quit bugging him (she has texted him), that he doesn't want her in her life, that he's getting his life together, and that he'll talk to her when he's ready. He's not responding to texts from me.

    difficult child overheard this conversation with difficult child 2's mom this evening. She is devastated. She's been crying for 2 hours. She's worried he's going to get hurt, she's angry that he keeps doing this. Mostly, she's worried. She was talking to someone last week and referred to him as her brother.

    I'm detached. The kid is a survivor. But, watching the wake of destruction he leaves makes me angry. This kid is just a wrecking ball.
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs for you both. I'm so sorry he's making these choices.

    Perhaps you can introduce difficult child to detachment. Its not that you don't care; but there's little to nothing anyone else can do. HE has choices to make and he's made them.

    YOu don't need any extra garbage, either. I'm so sorry, Heather.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hugs to difficult child 1 and all those who know him and love him.