difficult child#2's Job Interview.......Flip a Coin Funny or Sad?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    difficult child#2 is now 21 has Aspergers, ADHD, Schizo Affective and possible BiPolar (BP). He is good looking, well groomed but doesn't have a social clue. His Mom no longer buys medications for him because "he doesn't need them".

    Yesterday he comes over and tells me "I'm waiting to hear back from McDonalds about my job." I respond that's good news and ask him if it went well. He assures me it did. These are the statements he made to me. "I've been interviewed twice and everyone says if you get past the first interview you will be hired. I wish they'd hurry up and call me." I respond asking if they said they would call him on a specific date. "Well, I was suppose to go back last week but I was busy with something else. So I'm just going to go to the restaurant Monday and tell them I have time to talk." I casually suggest that he use the appointment. book I gave him to write down appts. He says "good idea, Mama, I'll do that". Hmmm.

    Then he says "Mama I have a real concern about how they manage the McDonalds. The employees spend too much time talking and flirting with one another. The customers are suppose to be the main focus." (I make no comment.) He goes on "But the big concern is that three people there asked me for my SS#. Two of them just wrote it down on napkins. I told the last Manager 'I'm not comfortable sharing my SS# with so many people. Identity Theft is a major problem in our world and I don't want my identity stolen.' "

    The Managers are in their twenties. The kid does not have a prayer of getting hired. He has no clue and prepping him for interviewing doesn't do much good because he "wings it". I'm staying detached as much as I can. He has this lovable quality like Forrest Gump but ... sigh. DDD
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    He sounds so much like Eeyore. The way he think it should be is the only 'reality' that he will deal with.

    You sound like you are doing great with the loving detachment!
  3. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    ....a big sigh here. Your story about difficult child 2 would be funny but it is sad to know that he really doesn't have a clue about how to get a job. You are doing a great job of staying detached. HUGS to you,
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, we went beyond "prepping" Travis.........and straight into giving him the proper answers to say and having him practice over and over again until it came out automatic. He still winged it some, but he got the important stuff answered at least.

    Of course this is why I didn't want him working fast food........a bunch of 20 somethings who have no clue about much of anything. Although ours is staffed with much more adults than teens (teens are finding it tough to get a job) and elderly, so he might have better odds here but he couldn't handle the environment, just too chaotic.

    Detaching is good, especially since biomom is meddling, but I'm sure it's not so easy to do.

  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What are his strengths? I would have never dreamed that working retail would have been one of Billy's strengths but it actually is. He is able to sell what he knows about and that is gadgets. Radio Shack is perfect for him but they just dont make enough money there so he needs to move on. If we had a geek squad here that paid well that would be good. He is attempting to open his own version of the geek squad.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    His major strength is that he IS a hard worker. He takes pride in his diligence, his physical condition (he's a lean, fit and good looking guy) and he enjoys yard work etc. on the other hand he talks too much, wants to engage in conversations about subjects that sound sophisticated although he knows little about them and also believes he (for example this week) "could walk in that McD's and out manage the people who have been there for years".

    Ideally, I guess, he should work with non English speaking yard and landscaping people. He wouldn't get on their nerves and he would hold his own in production. Unlike many Aspie's he does not have an area of expertise or talent that offsets his social awkwardness. DDD
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Able to do hard physical work, and keep the pace?
    How about... a road crew? Paving, it's next to impossible to chat over the noise, everybody has a position... and if you can work and be trusted, they don't usually care if you're a bit different.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That's a good idea Insane. Most of the government jobs around here ago thru the good ole boy system but perhaps it's worth a shot. Of course, lol, I have detached from him. DDD
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Don't know about your area... but around here, government-contract type jobs are such an old-boys network that the only way you can get in is to know somebody... OR have a disability. The old-boys network really likes "looking good", and those who are disabled but can really work... are a win-win!
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Bless his heart. by the way, I'm worried about them writing down his social security# too. Why would they do that during an interview?
  11. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    ALL of our jobs in our area (small town) are old-boys network lol!!!
    My mother married my step-father after I had left home (dad died when I was 22) and he has one son that is a few years younger than me.

    He has zero social skills and drives everyone nuts! He does the same think with trying to impress everyone by chosing to discuss an obscure topic.
    I am not around him much, but we went out to eat for a Father's Day and he ordered a very well done hamburger platter. He went into detail telling the waitress how to start his first so it would be ready when everyone else's food was.

    Then he complained about how long it was taking to get our food when the restaurant was packed.He complained about his burger and I tried to tell him he had the wrong order. When he was over half way through eating he called the manager to complain. He complained about the auto tip because we had a large party. He didn't pay for anything, but he still complains lol!!!

    He doesn't let things go, we had to listen about the burger and tip for hours!
    He has started to let his grey hair grow and he pulls it back in a pony tail. He plays the guitar and told me he is a 'chick magnet' because women love musicians.

    He doesn't work full time because he is an only child and his mother has money, and he thinks he will also get everything from his dad. He actually went as far as asking his dad if he bought the house before he married my mother. If step-dad did then it automatically goes to him and not my mother upon step-dad's death. He assured my mother that she could live there with him too lol!!! His bio mother had told him this and step-dad spent money to assure everything was in order so this kid couldn't throw my mother out if he died before her.

    He has a BA but has only worked in minimum wage jobs and selling at flea markets. He is currently working as a cook at Shoney's. His mother is German and has a summer home in the US and doesn't always let him know she is in the states. She does pay for all of his medical and dental expenses.

    It is a shame that at 55 years old he is living with a lady that can't get him to move out! I'm sure she will eventually evict him, he is crying on my step dad's shoulder about how bad the situation is and I 'm sure he would move in with them if had the chance LOL!!! He was living in CA and step-dad had to pay for him to visit them in GA. One day he showed up on their doorstep unanounced and thought he was going to be allowed to stay. He drives step-dad crazy too.

    He grew up in a wealthy family and went to a boarding school in Germany. I am sure he has mental, emotional problems that were never diagonosed. He told my husband that his life style (drugs??) has made it hard for him to get motivated enough to work.

    My nephew with Downe's has an easier chance of getting a job that he does, because as you stated, he doesn't look like any thing is wrong with him. SAD!!!
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    There are real similarities between difficult child#2 and the family member you describe. Honestly I am convinced that is why he was denied after his disability hearing. He can "shoot the breeze" for thirty minutes and sound totally normal. He told the man doing the evaluation that he "was great" "expected to start a new job soon" (described the job as if he had already applied but in fact he had just heard about it) and added "I really don't need medications anymore now that I have matured." He "presents well", is clean and attractive, appropriately dressed and learned his Emily Post from his Mama, lol. Guess it would have been better if I hadn't tried so hard, lol. DDD

    PS: He also told me the Manager asked him "what do you think your strengths would be here?" Proudly, difficult child#2 said "I have never had "sticky fingers" if you know what I mean."
  13. Elsieshaye

    Elsieshaye Member

    My difficult child is exactly the same, in terms of not quite being on the reality train. The "yeah I was supposed to go in but was busy" and then wondering why they didn't call him back is verbatim stuff I heard from my difficult child. *facepalm* At least yours seems like a sweet person. Hang in there...
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What a strange coincidence. I posted about difficult child#2 this week and guess what?? I just got a direct call from the Hyatt Hotel school program that I explored for him over a year ago. The young woman called and asked me "would you like to receive a copy of your difficult child's correspondence with our program?" I almost fell over. He hasn't lived with me in over two years and I can only imagine that perhaps one of the people I tried to network with on his behalf remembered me.

    Hooray. Now I am in the loop again and will be able to assure that difficult child and GFGmom don't drop the ball on this opportunity. First good news I've gotten in quite a while. :) DDD
  15. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I have often felt the same way about my difficult child#2. If I had not worked so hard and gave up so much of my time and resources when he was young, I truly believe he would present as handicapped as he is and would have an easier time of it.

    That is good news! Hope this opportunity pans out for him, -RM
  16. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Yep, we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. The PHP program didn't really believe that Eeyore is on the spectrum. I pointed out that if they met him 3 years ago they would have believed it but that intensive interventions over years do actually improve a child's functioning (insert eye roll here).

    Glad all our boys are showing the signs of good parenting!!